Request: Saints Row – Lil’ Gyro

Now, I’ve never played Saints Row. It’s always been lauded to me as the “layman’s” Grand Theft Auto. Sometimes I imagine all the people who complain about the GTA series are actually confusing it with Saints Row, as I’m surprised Saints Row doesn’t draw as much controversy. Maybe people don’t want to mess with a game where you can beat people to death with giant sex toys. It would probably seriously destroy a lot of peoples deepest and darkest desires if Saints Row was removed from the shelves. Either way, for one reason or another, Saints Row is incredibly popular and I’ve heard some awesome things about the third instalment. Since I don’t live in America and Greek food isn’t so popular here, I had no idea what a Gyro was when requests for it started to appear, even with my impressive American-internet food knowledge. Oh, I have spent many a hour dribbling over MoonPies and peanut butter Oreos. I was, however, aware of them in their popular ‘British’ form of doner kebab and my preferred Middle Eastern version; the shawarma. With a little research and taking inspiration from what I’ve eaten that’s similar, I’ve created a recipe for the Lil’ Gyro.

This recipe serves 4-6.

What you will need: A griddle pan and tin/aluminium foil.

Ingredients:

3 Tablespoons Olive Oil

½ Teaspoon:

• Cardamom Pods (Crushed)
• Cinnamon
• Nutmeg

Salt and Pepper

300g / 10oz Lamb (Diced or Shredded)

1 Medium White Onion (Chopped)

1 Medium Green Bell Pepper (Chopped)

100g / 1 Cup Red Cabbage (Chopped)

4-6 Pita Breads

To Garnish:

Tomatoes

Lettuce

Tzatziki

Cucumber

Making the Lil’ Gyro:

1. Place the lamb into a bowl. Add the olive oil, cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg and a pinch of salt and pepper. Mix well and leave to marinate for about 20 minutes.
2. Heat the griddle pan on a medium-high heat. Once hot, toss the prepared onion, green bell pepper and red cabbage in a little bit of olive oil before adding to the pan.
3. Cook the vegetables until they’re soft, then remove from them from the pan and set aside for later.
4. While the pan is still warm, add the lamb and cook until tender. Remove the lamb and place it in a bowl while you warm the pita.
5. In a preheated oven, place the pita bread until it’s soft and warm. You have to work while the bread is hot, so make sure all your ingredients are near by.
6. If it helps, make some small vertical slices on the underside of the pita to help you roll it up. Fill it with the salad, tomatoes, lamb, vegetables and finally finish it off with some tzatziki and slices of cucumber. Roll up the pita, wrap it in tin/aluminium foil and enjoy!

For any vegetarians, like me, you can replace the lamb with aubergine and grill it up; super delicious! You could also add some red chillies to increase the spice. This is probably nothing like any Gyro you can get in America and I’m not sorry. Because it’s better. That’s right. Better. The Lil’ Gyro is surprisingly large; a fantastic medley of fresh flavours and spiced, warming lamb. This is one meat you can’t beat. I’m so sorry.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Team Fortress 2 - Edible Sandvich Device.

Beyond Good and Evil - Starkos

I missed out on Beyond Good and Evil the first time around but was fortunate enough to enjoy it when the HD version was released on Xbox Live earlier this year. I can see why it’s received so much critical acclaim; it’s a wonderful piece of adventure gaming and since seeing this video quite a while ago now I’m still eagerly awaiting a sequel… Making a Starkos is tricky business and it was supposed to be my second post here on Gourmet Gaming but I didn’t feel confident enough at the time to attempt it. When thinking about what a Starkos was I focused on the idea that it’s street food in the very culturally diverse land of Hillys - and who are the best species in Hillys? The Rhino humanoids over at Mammago Garage obviously. So I’ve taken a dip in their Jamaican-esque roots and have created a Starkos patty filled with a sweet, curried shrimp (since there’s a lot of water around - they must have a pretty good fishing trade, no?).

This recipe makes 4-6 Starkos.

What you will need: Large mixing bowl, a sieve, large pan, baking tray, greaseproof/baking paper, rolling pin and cling film.

For the Pastry:

250g Plain Flour

1 Teaspoon Salt

1 Tablespoon Turmeric

125g Shortening

125g Unsalted Butter

2 Tablespoons Ice Water

1 Beaten Egg

For the Shrimp Filling:

250g Small Prawns/Shrimp

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 Small Potatoes

½ White Onion

1 Large Clove Garlic

1 Tablespoon Mild Curry Powder

1 Tomato

110ml Coconut Cream

1 Teaspoon Paprika

1 Stalk Spring Onion

1 Teaspoon Parsley Leaves

1 Teaspoon Thyme Leaves

1-2 Dried Chillies

Making the Pastry:

1. Sieve the flour, salt and turmeric into a large bowl. Cut the butter and shortening into small chunks and use your fingers to rub it into the flour until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
2. Add the water and mix gently until the dough comes together.
3. Lightly flour the ball of dough, wrap it in cling film and place in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Making the Shrimp Filling:

1. If needed, peel and de-vein your prawns and set them aside.
2. Peel and dice the potatoes and onion. Finely chop the garlic, spring onion and dried chillies. Deseed and skin the tomato.
3. Heat the olive oil in a large pan on a medium heat, then sauté the potatoes for about 10 minutes until they soften, stirring regularly.
4. Add the onion and spring onion and allow to cook until soft, then add the garlic, paprika, chillies and curry powder. Allow to simmer on a low heat for several minutes.
5. Pour in the coconut cream, add the tomato and sprinkle in thyme and parsley, simmer gently allowing the coconut cream to reduce a little.
6. Add the prawns, this may make the sauce watery which is fine, just allow it to reduce on a low heat then leave to cool.

Making the Starkos:

1. Preheat the oven to 200C. Lay out some cling film on the counter and lightly flour it. Take the dough from the fridge, remove a golf ball sized piece and place it on the cling film.
2. Cut another piece of cling film and lay it over the dough. Roll out the dough from the centre out until it’s about 1-2cm thick.
3. Take 1 heaped tablespoon of the shrimp filling and place it in the middle of the dough. Wash around the filling with the beaten egg and fold over the pastry. Press firmly around the filling to seal/bind the dough then trim it into the triangular shape - make sure to reuse any excess dough.
4. Place the Starkos on a baking tray lined with baking/greaseproof paper and cook for 15-20 minutes until crisp and golden brown.

My pastry for these was perfect, I think I levelled up nicely with the pastry for the Fable II Amazing Apple Pie. I’d ramp up the chilli if you like things hot, which I do, as the batch I made were a little mild for me. The test one I made was pretty huge too, I ate it for lunch and it was super filling, so I’d keep them rather small. A nice dipping sauce also wouldn’t go amiss. The filling to these is pretty tasty though - if you wanted you could just eat that with some rice and it would be awesome. Feel free to try your own variations of Starkos from the traditional beef or vegetable to maybe even a sweet version. So whether you’re luring out some of the shyer inhabitants of Hillys or restoring some hearts, these Starkos are sure to go down a treat at your next IRIS Network meeting.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Kirby’s Dream Land/Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Superspicy Curry.

Fable II - Amazing Apple Pie

Obviously when I thought about making something from the Fable series my first thought was “Crunchy Chick”… then I realised that putting a chick on a plate is not a recipe and being evil is well, evil. And horns are so out this season. But across Albion there’s a lot of fresh produce including various fruits that are often baked into their more delicious form: pies. You can pick from blueberry or apple and since Autumn is swiftly and powerfully blowing it’s way in I felt a rustic and warming apple pie would be perfect. But not just any pie (especially not the rancid or crabapple kind) - it has to be Amazing Apple Pie.

Apparently this specific type of pie can only be accessed via the Pub Games pre-order bonus and playing the Spinnerbox game. I, however, did not receive my Pub Games bonus despite my pre-order all those years ago (I’m talking to YOU Amazon) so, I’m without specific reference here. It’s so special because “it fully heals you - even in the middle of combat!” and “causes you to lose weight instead of gain it”. Sounds like my kind of pie.

This recipes serves 6-8.

What you will need: A 9-inch pie dish, 2 large mixing bowls, 2 small bowls, a sieve, wooden spoon, rolling pin, cling film, a strainer, 2 large flat baking trays, a non-stick pot.

For the Pastry:

350g Plain Flour

1 Teaspoon Salt

30g Light Brown Sugar

225g Unsalted Butter

30-60ml Cold Water

Milk & 1 Small Egg (for bonding/glaze)

For the Filling:

6 Large Cooking Apples

110g Golden Caster Sugar

1 Tablespoon Fresh Lemon Juice

1 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon

¼ Teaspoon Ground Nutmeg

Pinch of Salt

30g Unsalted Butter

1½ Tablespoons Cornflour 

Apple Filling Preparations:

1. Peel and slice your apples into generous chunks - place them in a bowl filled with cold water to stop them from browning as you chop. Strain from the water and return to the bowl. 
2. Add the sugar, salt, lemon juice, ground cinnamon and nutmeg to the apples and mix well. Let this sit for at least 30 minutes to an hour while you prepare the pastry.

Making the Pastry:

1. In a large bowl sieve in the flour, salt , sugar and mix.
2. Cut the butter into chunks and add them to the flour mixture. Rub the butter into the flour until it resembles crumbs.
3. Add the water slowly and mix very gently until a smooth dough begins to form - you wont need it all.
4. Lay some cling film on your work surface and turn the dough out onto it. Form the dough into a ball, split it in half and then wrap each portion in some cling film. Place in the fridge for an hour.
5. After an hour - lay a large piece of cling film on a clean counter. Remove one of the dough portions and place it in the middle of the sheet. Lay another equally sized piece of cling film over the top and roll out the pastry (always roll pastry from the centre out) - using the cling film like this will stop the dough from sticking to anything.
6. Once the desired size and an even thickness, remove the top layer of cling film. Pick up the dough using the cling film underneath and swiftly flip it over onto the pie dish - cover with cling film and return to the fridge to chill. 
7. Do the same with the second piece of dough, but instead, once rolled out keep it covered with the cling film and transfer it to a flat baking tray and then pop it back in the fridge - this piece will be your pie crust.

Making the Amazing Apple Pie:

1. By now your apples should have stewed nicely and have some juice at the bottom. Place a strainer over a bowl and pour the apples into the strainer leaving the juices to drain for about 15 minutes.
2. Once strained, pour the juices into a non-stick pot and add the 30g of butter. Allow to simmer on a medium heat for a few minutes until the liquid has slightly reduced. Do NOT allow it to boil - I accidentally made (delicious) toffee instead!
3. Remove the pie crust from the fridge and allow it to sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes.
4. Move the strained apples to a bowl and mix them with the cornflour.
5. Take out the pie base from the fridge and fill it with the apples, leaving no gaps, making sure the apples come just above the edge of the pie dish and are level, pour over the reduced juices.
6. In a small bowl beat the egg with a few tablespoons of milk. Wet the edges of the pie base with a little of the milk and egg mixture. 
7. Use the same technique as before and flip the pie crust over the apples. Tuck in any excess pastry under the base edges, trim anything extreme and create a nice crimping pattern if you wish with your fingers.
8. With a sharp knife make five 2inch cuts from the middle of the pie outward so steam can escape.
9. Cover the pie with cling film and refrigerate. 
10. Preheat the oven to 220C, and place a flat baking tray lined with some tinfoil on the bottom rack.
11. Once heated, remove the pie from the fridge and remove the cling film, brush lightly with the milk and egg mixture and place the pie onto the baking tray and allow to cook for 45-55 minutes. Keep an eye on the pie and be sure to cover the edges of the pie with some tin foil once golden or else they will burn. 
12. Once cooked, leave to cool for several hours before serving warm or cool with some cream or vanilla ice-cream.

There’s a lot of steps up there - but I assure you it’s actually rather easy to make. I’ve never made pastry or pie in my life and mine turned out perfectly! Well it is a little lumpier than the picture, I think I got a bit over excited and didn’t pay attention to the amount of apples I was piling in, so I made sure to add a note about it in the recipe. I did buy some back up ready-pastry after the horror stories I’d heard about making your own, but it was so easy to do it’s almost embarrassing that people use it. Let’s just say the words “pie master” were mumbled in between the gorging. The pie dish was surprisingly expensive - as this was a success though it warrants the making of some sort of pie every week for the next 10 years to balance the cost. So get on that Spinnerbox game, because the only thing your dog is going to dig out the ground is a condom that, let’s face it, you’re never going to use.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Legend of Grimrock - Blueberry Pie.

Don’t forget you can VOTE HERE for the Gourmet Gaming Hallowe’en Special!

Vote for the Gourmet Gaming Hallowe’en Special!

This Hallowe’en I’ll be doing a ‘Costume Quest’ Gourmet Gaming special! I’ve picked 10 of my favourite Creepy Treats so vote for your favourite in the Facebook Poll by September 30th and see the top 3 come to life for Hallowe’en!

VOTE HERE

Or if you’d rather, you can leave a comment here for the one you’d like and I can add it to the Facebook poll votes.

The Sims - Mac and Cheese

I’d been wanting to do something from The Sims for a really long time. I’ve been a life long fan and have probably spent too much time with the virtual versions of my family than the real thing (I like them more, I can make them do whatever I want…). I love that there’s so much scope and as the series has gone on the amount of food you can cook just keeps increasing as does the relationship between food and the Sims in-game; you can have a vegetarian or someone who will only eat burnt hamburgers over a sink. So it was hard to pick an iconic food until someone mentioned that mac and cheese was, for them, the thing they remembered most about The Sims. It’s the one main meal you can cook from the very beginning and for most Sims will probably be their staple food until the Grim Reaper comes for them. It’s a well known fact that I’m completely addicted to mac and cheese, I probably eat it at least once a week (sometimes three) and I blame this addiction on the fact that I couldn’t eat cheese for years until finally some smart people figured out how to remove the lactose from the cheese (thank you, food scientists, I owe you my happiness). This is a family recipe that I’ve improved on over the years and it’s always perfect when you just want to gorge on something and get that ‘warm-fuzzies’ feeling.

This recipe serves 2-4.

What you will need:

A non-stick pot, a large pot and a deep tray or casserole dish, baking paper or tinfoil.

Ingredients: 

250g Macaroni

40g Butter

2 Tablespoons Flour

350ml - 500ml Milk

120g Cheese(s) - I use a mild cheddar

½ Teaspoon English Mustard

Salt & Pepper

Breadcrumbs

Making the Mac and Cheese:

1. Prep your tray or casserole dish by lining it with baking paper or tin foil - this will save you tears when it comes to washing up. 
2. Boil some water in a large pot and cook the macaroni for about 6-8 minutes. 
3. Once cooked, remove from the water, strain, pour into the prepared tray/dish and set aside.
4. Preheat the oven to 200C.
5. Melt the butter in a non-stick pot on a high heat. Once melted add the flour a spoonful at a time and mix until the mixture comes together and it no longer sticks to the sides - the pot should look clean.
6. Slowly add the milk, about 25ml at a time, and stir continually so as not to burn the sauce. You might not need all the milk or you may need more - once it is runny but still a little thick it’s perfect.
7. Reduce the heat to medium and add the cheese (chop it into small pieces of grate it in and feel free to use as many cheeses as you like). Mix well until the cheese has melted.
8. Add the mustard, season well with the salt and pepper and stir once again.
9. Pour the mixture over the macaroni and mix until all the pasta is coated. Sprinkle on the breadcrumbs and put in the oven for around 20-25 minutes or until it is golden and crispy on top.

I like to demolish this dish with some home-made garlic bread so I recommend you do the same, seriously the only thing I can write is: NOMNOMNOM. Screw ambrosia, I’m sure it’s actually mac and cheese that’s the food of the Gods so getting your cooking skill to level 10 is such a waste of time. Spend it doing more constructive things like rooting in your neighbours trash can or playing a game (within a game - so meta).

Like this? You might also enjoy the Sims - Goopy Carbonara.