Animal Crossing – Brewster’s Pigeon Blend

Here at Gourmet Gaming we’re big fans of Loading’s 9-Bit Mega Coffee, and have been looking for the perfect recipe so showcase it for some time. While coffee does feature quite often in games, it’s never been more charming as in Animal Crossing. Visit The Roost, and once a day Brewster will serve you his perfect blend, sometimes with a splash of pigeon milk – if you’re lucky. For a mere 200 bells you can enjoy this sweet and smooth treat. Just don’t wait for it to cool! Are you insane?!

This recipe serves 1.

What you will need: A Moka Express/Espresso Maker/Cafetiere etc., a small mug and a small pan.

Ingredients:

75ml / 2.5 fl oz. Fresh Espresso/Strong Coffee

25ml / 0.85 fl oz. Vanilla Coffee Syrup

50ml / 1.7 fl oz. Almond Milk

100ml / 3.5 fl oz. Whole Milk

Optional Garnish:

Double/Heavy Cream

Feathers

Making Brewster’s Pigeon Blend:

1. In a small pan, warm the whole milk and almond milk together - don’t let it boil! Have your cup ready with the vanilla syrup filling the bottom.
2. Prepare your coffee. Once the almond milk and milk is near boiling point, pour it into the mug on top of the vanilla syrup.
3. Next add the shot of espresso on top, then swirl through with a little cream. Garnish with a few Brewster feathers.

Turning on my DS was a stressful affair, I tried to avoid looking at all those weeds… It’s just as well I had this cup of java to pick me up. Though Brewster would rather you took your coffee black, his legendary Pigeon Blend is a beautiful homage in gaming, but could you expect anything less?! For the record, I did research the idea of actually using ‘pigeon milk’ and soon discovered ‘crop milk’. Something you definitely don’t want in your morning coffee.

You can buy Loading’s 9-Bit Mega Coffee from Firebox.com.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Animal Crossing: Wild World – Birthday Cake.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep – Spark Lemon

After what has seemed like an eternal winter (I’ve worn some kind of coat every day for over a year now) the sun has made it’s way back North to Edinburgh. This unseasonable warmth has been glorious; barbecues in the park, lunch on Calton Hill and far too much exposed white flesh. Of course, I’m currently missing out on what is probably going to be our only week of sun for the year because I have a horrible cold. I thought I was going to have to miss this weeks post but then I realised I could make something that would be both medicinal and gaming related – as the two seem to go hand-in-hand for me anyway. I’d been holding back attempting this amazing looking treat for a suitable time to post, but now seems as good a time as any. For anyone local enjoying the weather, or someone like me with a sore throat, this Kingdom Hearts Spark Lemon sundae is perfect.

This recipe serves 4.

What you will need: Greaseproof paper/baking parchment, a rolling pin, a knife, a zester or fine grater, 2 bowls, and 2 piping bags.

Ingredients:

5 Large Unwaxed Lemons

450g / 3 Cups Vanilla Ice-cream

2 Tablespoons Lemon Curd

1 Tablespoon Lemon Zest

25g / 1 Cup Meringue (Crushed)

75g / ½ Cup Lemon Sorbet

To Garnish:

Green/Blue Royal Icing

1 Slice of Lemon

2 Tablespoons Lemon Curd

Sprigs of Mint

Preparing the Spark Lemon:

1. To make the ‘spark’ garnishes, roll out some coloured royal icing and trim into the desired shapes. You’ll need two lightning bolts per Spark Lemon. Leave the icing shapes out to air dry and become hard.
2. Take a large, decent sized lemon and cut the top off it. This will become your ‘bowl’ for the ice-cream. Hollow out the centre then pop it in the freezer to chill.
3. Meanwhile, allow the vanilla ice-cream to soften a little. Take half the vanilla ice-cream (225g / 1 ½ Cups) in one mixing bowl, and the other half in another.
4. Add the lemon curd and the lemon zest to one half of the vanilla ice-cream, mix thoroughly then return the ice-cream to the freezer to chill.
5. To the other half of vanilla ice-cream, add the crushed meringue and return it to the freezer to chill too.
6. Once the lemon is nice and cold, and your ice-creams are chilled, you’re ready to make the Spark Lemon.

Making the Spark Lemon:

1. Take the lemon out of the freezer. Put two tablespoons of lemon sorbet in the base.
2. Next, spoon in the vanilla meringue ice-cream and fill it up until it’s level with the top of the lemon. Return the lemon to the freezer until the ice-creams have chilled.
3. Once chilled, take a piping bag and fill it with the vanilla and lemon curd ice-cream. Starting in the centre of the lemon, pipe around and up to create a swirl of vanilla and lemon curd ice-cream on top.
4. Use a piping bag to create a swirl of lemon curd around the ice-cream, then garnish with a sprig of mint, slice of lemon and the icing ‘sparks’, and enjoy!

“A lemon ice cream whose sour power will have you wincing in joy”, that’s a tough mark to hit! But I did it! There’s a delightful contrast here between smooth and creamy vanilla, sweet lemon curd and tart sorbet - a treat with a serious zing. And you know, my throat is feeling much better already. Use any left over lemon and mint to make a delicious and refreshing lemonade!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Kingdom Hearts II – Sea Salt Ice-Cream.

Silent Hill – Butter Cake

I’m pretty excited about this week’s Gourmet Gaming because I happen to be a huge Silent Hill fan. When I was about 10 I was given a ‘cracked’ import version of the game from Thailand as a holiday present from one of my mom’s friends.

The entire game was in black in white.

That’s what you get for buying duff versions of games, kids. Silent Hill was, needless to say, shelved after a few nightmares. I then returned several years later and managed to complete Silent Hill 2, which led to my great obsession with the series. Butter Cake appears to be one of only a few foods available in Silent Hill. Is it perhaps the source of all evil? There’s only one way to find out…

What you will need: An 8-inch spring-form cake tin, a sieve, a large mixing bowl and greaseproof paper/baking parchment.

This recipe serves 10-12.

Ingredients:

200g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

300g / 1½ Cups Light Brown Caster/Superfine Sugar

4 Large Eggs (Room Temperature)

380g / 3 Cups Plain Flour

2 Teaspoon Baking Powder

½ Teaspoon Salt

240ml / 1 Cup Milk

2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract

To Garnish:

1 Tablespoon Butter

2 Tablespoons Sugar

Making the Butter Cake:

1. Preheat the oven to 165C/325F. Lightly grease and line the cake tin. Dust the greased tin with a sprinkling of flour then set aside for later.
2. In a large mixing bowl add the butter and sugar. Beat for about 5 minutes, until it’s pale and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and mix until well combined. In a separate bowl, sieve in the flour, baking powder and salt.
3. Alternate adding the milk and the flour a little at a time into the cake mixture. First add some flour, mix, then add some milk, mix again and continue until all the milk and flour has been added, ending with adding flour. This technique is important to make sure the cake has the right texture.
4. Finally, add the vanilla extract and stir well once again. Pour the cake mixture into the prepared tin and place in the middle of the preheated oven for 60-70 minutes.
5. Once firm and golden, remove the cake from the oven and leave to cool.

Preparing the Garnish:

1. Add the butter and sugar to a small saucepan and allow to melt. Don’t let it boil!
2. Once warmed through, and with the cake fresh from the oven, brush the butter over the top of the cake and leave to cool completely before removing from the tin and serving.

Definitely the source of all evil. Including heart attacks and childhood diabetes. If this is what Pyramid Head has been eating all this time, I’m not sure how he’s so buff. Maybe Silent Hill is just an illusion caused by a build up of Butter Cake on the brain. That seems more reasonable than most of the theories floating around some forums. The Butter Cake is an unusual dense sweetness that I’d serve with a dusting of icing sugar, cream, ice-cream or fruits. Just don’t eat too much or you’ll never be able to escape!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Minecraft - Cake.

Catherine – Summer Squash Pasta (Catherine)

Peppy, seductive and somewhat complicated, Catherine is Vincent’s dream girl and she’s thrown his life upside-down. I’m exactly half way through the game at the moment, and I’m rather confused about who Catherine is and what her intentions are. I’m trying to dissuade her; being polite but firm. Though Vincent’s exclamations when ogling a revealing text while sitting on the toilet make it very hard to resist… Not that I think Katherine is the better choice - I just want him to escape from both of them if he can! I’ve chosen the Summer Squash Pasta for Catherine because it’s the only dish that’s related to her in the game, when she orders it from Chrono Rabbit. Maybe it’s the source of her charms.

This recipe serves 3 – 4.

What you will need: A large pot, a large pan, a baking tray and a strainer.

Ingredients:

350g / 3 ½ Cups Penne Pasta

1 Medium Squash (Any yellow variety will do)

Butter

Salt & Pepper

1 Large Garlic Clove (Finely Chopped)

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil

½ Teaspoon Dried Red Chillies

100g / 1 Cup Courgette/Zucchini (Diced)

100g / 1 Cup Cherry Tomatoes (Halved)

250ml / 1 Cup Water

½ Teaspoon Dried Basil

Fresh Coriander

Fresh Parsley

Parmesan Cheese (Optional)

Making the Summer Squash Pasta:

1. Preheat the oven to 200C/390F. Cut the squash in half and remove any seeds. Cover it with butter and season to taste with a salt and pepper. Bake the squash until it’s soft when poked with a knife. Depending on it’s size, this can take from 25-45 minutes.
2. Once cooked, remove the squash from the oven and allow it to cool. Once cool, scoop out the flesh, purée it and set aside for later.
3. Warm a large pan on a medium heat and add the olive oil. Fry the garlic and dried chillies for about a minute then add the diced courgette/zucchini and halved cherry tomatoes.
4. Fry the courgette/zucchini and tomatoes until they begin to soften. Once soft, add the squash purée and slowly add the water to loosen the sauce, you might not need all of it. Reduce the temperature to low, sprinkle in some basil and season the sauce to taste.
5. Boil the penne pasta in a large pot as per the directions on the packet. When the pasta is ready, strain it and add it directly to the sauce in the pan. Mix it well so the pasta is well coated then serve with freshly chopped coriander, parsley and grated parmesan if desired.

Unfortunately there’s no comparison image for the Summer Squash Pasta as it’s never actually revealed in the game. The only instance of it is when Catherine arrives at Chrono Rabbit and is pretty excited that it’s still on their menu. I was actually pleasantly surprised by this dish; I like squash, but it wasn’t until I researched the idea of ‘summer squash’ that I discovered that the humble courgette, or zucchini, was to be one of my main ingredients. The sauce is incredibly light but rather creamy and the chillies add a wonderful warmth at the end. You could easily enjoy this dish hot or cold, so it’s a perfect transitional meal between winter and summer. Or girlfriends.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Paper Mario - Koopasta.

Request: Kingdom Hearts II – Sea Salt Ice-cream

You’ll notice the addition of hearts on this post and they will be added to past posts too - it’s to give you an idea of the level of difficulty the recipe is so you can pick a recipe to suit your ability should you wish to make something. Anyway, I can’t tell you the amount of requests I’ve had for Sea Salt Ice-cream - Kingdom Hearts certainly has an incredible fan base! So I thought I’d treat you all with the first post of 2012 because I’m just that good to you. I’ve learned that this is (or was) actually available at Tokyo DisneySea and that Tetsuya Nomura’s love for the treat explains its appearance in Kingdom Hearts II. Kingdom Hearts has a lot of delicious looking ice-creams in it, I feel like I’ve missed out now by not playing it when it first came out which upon reflection seems crazy considering one of my favourite games is Mickey’s Castle of Illusion for the Sega Mega Drive and the Disney-Final Fantasy combination sounds right up my alley. Though I have no idea what it should taste like I was excited by the prospect of flavoured salts and creating a twist on the classic vanilla ice-cream.

This recipe serves 4.

What you will need: A pot, a large bowl and 2 small bowls, a sieve, a wooden spoon, a medium container, a whisk, ice-cream moulds and wooden ice-cream sticks.

Ingredients:

½ Vanilla Pod

2 Tablespoons High Quality Sea Salt Flakes

125ml / ½ Cup Milk

75g / ⅓ Cup Sugar

250ml / 1 Cup Whipping/Heavy Cream

3 Egg Yolks

Blue Food Colouring

Ice

Preparing the Sea Salt Ice-cream:

1. Add half of the vanilla seeds to the salt. Rub the vanilla into the salt until well mixed – seal and leave to infuse.
2. If you don’t have an ice-cream machine (like me) place the container you’ll chill the ice-cream in into the freezer.
3. Warm the milk, sugar and rest of the vanilla pod together in a pot on a medium heat. Cover, remove from the heat once warmed through and leave the vanilla to fragrance the milk for about 30 minutes.
4. While the milk cools set up an ‘ice bath’ – half fill a large bowl with water and ice and place a smaller bowl inside. Pour the cream into the smaller bowl and set aside.
5. In another bowl whisk the egg yolks. Rewarm the now cooled and infused milk, gradually add the milk to the egg yolks whisking constantly. Once combined return the milk and egg to the pot.
6. Heat the mixture over a low heat, stirring constantly until it thickens and forms a custard. Do NOT let it boil! If bubbles or foam appear remove it from the heat immanently.
7. Sieve the custard into the bowl of cream over the ice bath. Stir well until it begins to cool, add the blue food colouring until the desired colour is achieved then place the bowl into the fridge to chill for several hours or overnight.

Making the Sea Salt Ice-cream:

1. Pour the chilled ice-cream mixture into the prepared frozen tray then return it to the freezer or use your ice-cream maker.
2. After about 40 minutes add the vanilla salt to taste and vigorously stir or whisk the mixture as it begins to set. Check on it every 30 minutes after this, continuing to mix well. Repeat this for about 2 – 3 hours every 30 minutes.
3. Once solidified take it out and allow it to soften. Once soft spoon it into the ice-pop moulds, be wary of air bubbles forming – it’s a good idea to mix the ice-cream around in the mould to try and remove as many as possible. If it’s too soft, pop it into the freezer for a bit before sliding in the wooden sticks and placing in the freezer to set.
4. To remove the ice-cream from the mould sit it in a bath of warm water until the outside begins to melt then carefully slide them out.

Feel free to keep this ice-cream in a tub or for a more authentic look use the moulds and wooden ice-cream sticks. For any doubtful British fans this sweet yet salty mixture means the ice-cream tastes less like a full dairy, or cream laden Cornwall style and more like an ice-cream van ‘99’ taste. For Americans I’d imagine the equivalent is what you’d call ‘soft-serve’ (if America is devoid of the classic 99 cone with a Flake – I feel sorry for you). And I don’t know what it is, blue is apparently an appetite suppressant but for me bright blue foods simply means “more delicious”. Cute and quirky Sea Salt Ice-cream is a surprising balance with a wonderful texture. Also if you have any left over vanilla salt it apparently goes wonderfully with certain fish.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Kingdom Hearts - Spark Lemon.

Christmas Special Dessert: World of Warcraft - Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake

I’ve never set foot in Pandaria, been on a forty man raid at two o’clock in the morning to Darkwing Lair or suffered the ‘Wrath of the Lich King’… but I do like cake! I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve not yet earned my WoW badge, like I’ve also not earned my Minecraft one and in all seriousness it’s because I know I’d befall the trap and vanish into oblivion. To be honest, I’m saving my online RPG virginity for Diablo III which I am eagerly awaiting (for the love of God, Blizzard, I only have so much patience). Anyway, what better way too round off a Christmas feast than with a traditional fantasy fruitcake!

This recipes serves 8-10.

What you will need: A 25cm Bundt cake mould, 2 mixing bowls and a sieve.

For the Mince Meat Fruitcake:

250g / 1¾ Cups Self-Raising Flour

150g / ¾  Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

100g / ½ Cup Golden Caster Sugar

50g / ¼ Cup Dark Muscovado Sugar

75g / ½ Cup Mixed Dried Fruits

2 Eggs

450g / 1lb Jar of Mincemeat

75g / ½ Cup Flaked Almonds

120ml / ½ Cup Whisky (Optional)

To Garnish:

Icing/Confectioners Sugar

6 Glacé Cherries (Halved)

Making Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake:

1. Sieve the self-raising flour twice into a large mixing bowl to aerate it properly, then set aside.
2. Grease the bundt tray well with a little butter and preheat the oven to 160C/325F.
3. In a separate bowl cream the butter and the sugar until well combined, try to break up the Muscovado sugar as much as possible.
4. Next add the dried fruits and almonds, stir well, then add the jar of mincemeat and mix again.
5. Beat the two eggs together and gradually add them to the mixture, stirring in as you add. If you’re adding the whisky, do so now and mix well.
6. Pour the wet ingredients into the flour and fold them together gently then pour the mix into the prepared bundt tray. Pop in the oven and cook for approximately 80-100 minutes – if it’s cooked an inserted skewer/knife will come out clean.
7. Once cooked remove from the oven and allow to cool completely in the bundt mould.
8. You can, if you wish, ‘feed’ the cake some more whisky by pouring small amounts over the cake every few hours . If you’re impatient (like me) simply remove once it’s cooled enough.
9. Sieve over a sprinkling of icing/confectioners sugar and arrange the glacé cherries around the top of the cake. Ideally, serve with some brandy cream.

This cake is “Preserved with Graccu’s special spices! It’ll be a very long time before these turn bad…”; I ate this entire cake in a day. I regret nothing. My Irish roots ensure I’m very particular when it comes to fruit cakes, I like them and I love that winter gives me the excuse to tuck into various incarnations starting with a Hallowe’en Barmbrack and finishing, very often, with a third helping of Christmas pudding. I’ll never again buy a Christmas cake now that I know how easy and cheap this is to make. Apparently you “must remain seated while eating” which is ideal should you choose to eat this while questing or watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” for the thousandth time.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread.

Request: The Sims – Key Lime Pie

Last Thursday it was Adam’s birthday, he hates the idea of birthday cakes and any kind of fanfare but I couldn’t let his day go by without him having something nice to eat. His favourite dessert is Key Lime pie and I just happened to have a string of requests for the same dish from when I made The Sims Mac and Cheese. Although not the most bizarre dish to appear in The Sims (I’m looking at you ‘Eggs Machiavellian’, eggs and watermelon? Really?!) it seems to be one of the most popular in-game desserts - I know that my Sim bakes it on a regular occasion only to leave servings of it around the house for impending pie emergencies. Since it now counts as a Gourmet Gaming post, it’s no longer a birthday treat and therefore acceptable for a non-celebration… right?

This recipe serves 6-8.

What you will need: A 9-inch pie dish, a whisk, a grater and a large bowl.

For the Crust:

200g / 2 Cups Crushed Digestives (or Graham Crackers)

2 Tablespoons Ground Ginger

45g / ¼ Cups Caster/Granulated Sugar

135g / ⅝ Cup Butter (Melted)

For the Lime Filling:

4 Large Egg Yolks

400ml / 1 ¾ Cups Condensed Milk

6 Tablespoons Fresh Lime Juice

2 Tablespoons Lime Zest (Grated)

To Garnish:

Lime Jelly (Jell-o)

120ml / ½ Cup Double Cream

2 Tablespoons Icing/Confectioners Sugar

5 Quarter-Lime Slices

Making the Key Lime Pie:

1. Preheat the oven to 175C/350F and place a baking tray inside. Grease and line a pie dish and set aside.
2. In a bowl combine the crushed digestives, ginger, sugar and butter then press evenly into the prepared pie dish. Place the pie dish in the oven on top of the preheated baking tray and bake for 10-15 minutes. Once cooked remove and set aside to cool.
3. In a clean bowl whisk the egg yolks until pale and fluffy and gradually add the condensed milk. Pour in the lime juice and add the lime zest, mix well then pour the mixture into the cooled pie base.
4. Place the pie back into the oven (still at 175C/350F) for about 15 minutes or until the mixture has set. Once cooked remove the pie and allow to cool before placing in the fridge to chill for at least 4 hours.
5. Prepare the lime jelly (Jell-o) as per the packet instructions. Allow the jelly mixture to cool significantly, once lukewarm remove the chilled pie from the fridge and carefully pour a small amount of the jelly liquid over (just enough to cover the pie filling) then return to the fridge until the jelly has set.
6. Before serving, whip the double cream with the sugar until it forms stiff peaks. Spoon the cream into an icing bag and pipe the cream in a circle around the edge and pipe a dollop into the middle of the pie. Arrange the lime slices around the centre.

I’m not usually a fan of citrus things, I often find lemony flavours over powering and they just make me feel like I’m eating kitchen cleaner. I had it in my mind that this was going to come out terrible, I didn’t even know what Key Lime Pie was supposed to taste like since I’d never dared try any before. It reminded me mostly of a cheese cake and amazingly the lime jelly added a nice sweetness against the tart filling. I’ve decided that baked creamy-pie-cake things are becoming my forte which is ironic considering they’re the one thing I can’t really eat but I suffer the small taster slice for you guys… Oh and Happy Birthday, Adam!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Sims - Mac and Cheese.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Sweet Roll

This Friday Skyrim will be hitting the shelves and it’s one of my most highly anticipated releases of this year! Since I’ll be spending the entire weekend glued to my TV and ignoring all signals from my body that it’s tired and wants to go to bed (my brain will be shouting “DRAGONS!” to keep me perky) I figured I’d need some suitable snacks. I read a pretty funny article last week called “Things I Ate In Skyrim” that obviously included the infamous Sweet Roll. Before you climb up on your high armoured horse and start saying “that doesn’t look like any Sweetroll I’ve ever seen” this is a Skyrim edition Sweet Roll (note: no longer “Sweetroll” as it used to be in Morrorwind and Oblivion) that we got a sneak peek at - it seems to have gotten a bit of a visual upgrade and some frosting! I’ve gone with a dense spiced cake recipe that I think compliments the rustic, fantasy setting.

This recipe makes 6 Sweet Rolls.

What you will need: Large deep muffin tray, greaseproof paper/baking parchment, sieve, 2 bowls, wooden spoon, a pot and a knife.

For the Sweet Rolls:

180g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup White Caster Sugar

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup

2 Eggs (Room Temperature)

250g / 2 Cups Self-Raising Flour

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

125ml / ½ Cup Milk

For the Frosting:

200g / 1 Cup Cream Cheese

55g / ¼ Cup Butter

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

125g / 1 Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

For the Cinnamon Syrup:

2 Tablespoons Butter

2 Tablespoons White Caster Sugar

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

Preparing the Sweet Rolls:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. To prepare the muffin tray, cut small squares of greaseproof paper and stuff them into each muffin well – create folds and crinkles and then smooth them out to help create a rustic, uneven finish to the cakes.
2. In a large bowl cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and maple syrup together until pale and creamy. Add the eggs one and a time and mix well.
3. Sift in the self-raising flour and cinnamon then add the milk and stir gently until a smooth batter forms.
4. Fill the prepared muffin tray with the batter, filling each well nearly to the top and place in the pre-heated oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (a skewer inserted should come out clean when cooked thoroughly). Set aside and allow to cool completely while you prepare the syrup and frosting.

Making the Frosting:

1. Add the cream cheese, butter and vanilla extract in a bowl and mix gently until combined.
2. Slowly sift in the icing/confectioners sugar and stir gently. Allow to chill in the fridge before using.

Making the Cinnamon Syrup:

1. In a pan on a medium-high heat melt the butter, sugar and cinnamon together until the sugar has dissolved. Set aside for use later.

Making the Sweet Rolls:

1. Unwrap the cakes from the paper and careful slice the puffy top off the cake. Turn the cake upside down so that the cut top is now the bottom.
2. Cut a small hole in the top of the cake that’s about 1cm deep and 1cm across. Pour a little of the cinnamon syrup into the hole.
3. Drizzle the frosting over the top of the cake and serve.

Now for the infamous question: While in town the baker gives you a Sweetroll. Delighted, you take it into an alley to enjoy only to be interecepted by a gang of three other kids your age. The leader demands the Sweetroll, or else he and his friends will beat you and take it.

1. Act like you’re going to give him the Sweetroll, but at the last minute throw it into the air. Hoping that they’ll pay attention long enough for you to get a shot in on the leader.

2. Drop the Sweetroll and step on it, then get ready for the fight.

3. Give him the Sweetroll now without argument, knowing that later this afternoon you will have all your friends with you and can come and take whatever he owes you.

Protip: Don’t take your Sweet Rolls into any alleys.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread.

Grand Theft Auto IV – Cluckin’ Bell Fowl Burger

To celebrate the Grand Theft Auto V trailer that was released today here’s a recipe for the Cluckin’ Bell foul ‘Fowl Burger’! Now you can pee your pants over the trailer while you stuff your face and feel just like Niko Bellic! There’s only a couple Cluckin’ Bell restaurants dotted around Liberty City compared to the role the restaurant played in earlier versions of GTA (where you could order up to 4 meals including a salad) but in GTA IV the $1 fowl burger is your only option. I was seriously tempted, like with ‘The Heart Stopper’, to make the “Stuffed Pollo Todo Frito”; you can watch the advert and witness a corncob being stuffed up a chickens bum if that’s your sort of thing – but again it was costly and extraordinary and not exactly available to Niko in-game. Some day… SOME DAY I will make both of these just for the sheer glory and meat sweats.

This recipe serves 1.

What you will need: A frying pan, meat tenderiser, 2 bowls.

For the Fowl Burger:

Olive Oil

1 Large Chicken Breast

50g / ½ Cup Breadcrumbs

1 Tablespoon Ground Cumin

1 Tablespoon Ground Coriander

1 Tablespoon Paprika

1 Egg

Ketchup

Mayonnaise

White Burger Bun / Bread roll

Baby Gem Lettuce Leaves

1 Baby Shallot

1 Slice of Mild Cheddar Cheese

Making the Fowl Burger:

1. Combine the cumin, coriander and paprika with the breadcrumbs in a bowl and mix well. In another beat the egg and set aside.
2. Heat a good amount of olive oil in a frying pan on a medium high heat. Beat the chicken breast so it is about 1-2cm thick, cut in half so you have two evenly sized pieces.
3. Dip them in the egg and then coat well in the breadcrumb mixture.
4. Once the oil is hot enough, fry the coated chicken breasts for about 4 minutes each side or until golden brown and cooked through.
5. Toast the bun then layer ketchup, lettuce, chicken, cheese, lettuce, chicken, lettuce, mayonnaise, sliced shallot and close with the top of the bun.
6. Serve with fries and a Sprunk and enjoy; the chicken didn’t die in vain.

I don’t know about you, but any time I’ve walked into a Cluckin’ Bell some guy starts a fight with me, these gangs seem pretty protective of this chicken so it must be pretty awesome. Cluckin’ Bell dutifully promises that they provide ‘billions of chickens with a very happy resting place – your stomach!’ so what more reason do you need to eat this?! Just don’t choke-a-doodle-doo, chicks and cocks.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Grand Theft Auto IV - The Bleeder.