Legend of Grimrock – Blueberry Pie

Last weekend my significant other came to bed around 4AM, so I naturally asked where he’d been. Many suspicious girlfriends would think of the obvious; another woman or a secret shame, like eating flowers in the bathroom, but I knew better.

It turned out he’d discovered this amazing game called Legend of Grimrock; a seriously awesome old school dungeon crawler as a stunning modern incarnation. I fell in love with the game instantly; it was so mysterious and beautifully designed, and when I saw there was food I got pretty excited. I eventually discovered there’s a rather infamous blueberry pie hidden in the darkness. A kind of symbol of hope… delicious, delicious hope.

This recipe serves 6-8.

What you will need: A 9-inch loose base sandwich tin, a large baking tray, a sieve, a wooden spoon or hand mixer, a rolling pin and two large mixing bowls.

For the Pastry:

350g / 2⅓Cups Plain Flour

1 Teaspoon Salt

2 Tablespoons Light Brown Sugar

225g / 1 Cup Unsalted Butter (Chilled)

60ml / ¼ Cup Cold Water

For the Filling:

100g / ½ Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

100g /⅔Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

100g / 1 Cup Ground Almonds

4 Teaspoons Cornflour/Cornstarch

1 Large Egg (Room Temperature)

1 Large Egg Yolk (Room Temperature)

1½ Teaspoons Pure Almond Extract

½ Teaspoon Lemon Zest

3 Tablespoons Blueberry Preserve

200g / 2 Cups Fresh Blueberries

Making the Shortcrust Pastry:

1. In a large mixing bowl, sieve the flour, salt and sugar. Next add the butter. Rub the butter into the dry ingredients with your finger tips until it resembles breadcrumbs.
2. Add the water a tablespoon at a time, mixing in between until the dough comes together. Once the dough forms into a ball, wrap it in cling film/saran wrap and place in the fridge to chill for about an hour.
3. Sieve some icing/confectioners sugar onto a clean, dry surface and roll the dough out until it’s about a quarter of an inch thick. Lift the pastry into the sandwich tin and pat it in to fill the tin evenly.
4. Trim off any excess pastry then put the tin in the fridge to chill for 30 minutes. Once chilled, preheat the oven to 220C/420F with a large baking tray inside.
5. Put the pie in the oven on top of the heated baking tray to blind-bake the crust. You may want to use some baking beans to help keep the pastry for shrinking while it cooks.
6. Cook the pastry for about 10-15 minutes until the edges appear slightly darker and are firm. Once baked, take out the pie and leave it to cool completely before adding any filling.

Making the Blueberry Pie:

1. In a large bowl, sieve in the sugar, almonds and cornstarch. Next add the butter, egg, yolk, lemon zest and almond extract. Mix well until thoroughly combined into a kind of thick batter. Leave the mixture in the fridge to chill for about an hour.
2. With your pastry cooled, spoon in the blueberry preserve and use the back of the spoon to smooth it out over the base to create a thin layer of jam.
3. Preheat the oven to 190C/375F. Once the almond mixture is chilled, pour it into the pastry and smooth it out until it’s even. Take your blueberries and pop them into the almond filling until the entire surface of the pie is covered.
4. Put the pie in the oven for 20-30 minutes. When the pie is firm, golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean – it’s ready! Take it out of the oven and leave to cool completely before serving.

Firstly, a huge thank you to Almost Human Games who replied to my email inquiring about Grimrock cuisine so promptly, and to Ben R for the beautiful comparison screenshots. It’s taken me about an hour to write this post, and in that time I’ve managed to eat about half the pie to myself. In making the pie, I didn’t want to overcook the frangipane filling, I wanted it to mix with the blueberries to create a creamy blueberry filling and it is… outstanding. I must have a seemingly bottomless pit for a stomach just like Mork, or even Grimrock it’s self.

You can download Legend of Grimrock from GOG, Steam and Grimrock.net.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Fable II – Amazing Apple Pie.

Request: EarthBound – Peanut Cheese Bar

I was pretty much oblivious to EarthBound until I was introduced to the curious character Ness in Super Smash Bros; having never owned a classic Nintendo console growing up I was subject to the gaming tastes of whoever owned the console I was playing (I was not beyond using a fellow classmate and neighbour to sate my need to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). When I decided I was going to make this recipe I tried to source EarthBound from a friend who has an extensive retro games collection, but the fact he didn’t have it just instilled it’s cult status even more for me. However, I’m not without my EarthBound knowledge; I’ve read about it enough times in articles titled ‘gaming urban myths’ and ‘ultimate screwed up games’. Everyone kept asking for these Peanut Cheese Bars - I’d see the requests in my inbox and all I could imagine was some peanuts with cheddar cheese on top - melting and a little greasy… Then I remembered that cheese can be sweet and delicious too, I think the Mr. Saturns are definitely onto something!

This recipe makes 8 - 10 Peanut Cheese Bars.

What you will need: An 8x8 inch square spring-form or lose-base cake tin, a whisk, two mixing bowls, greaseproof/baking paper, cling film/saran wrap and a rolling pin.

For the Cookie Base:

175g / 1 ¾ Cups Flour

½ Teaspoon Baking Soda

½ Teaspoon Salt

110g / ½ Cup Butter (Softened)

85g / ¾ Cup Caster Sugar/Superfine Sugar

85g / ¾ Cup Soft Brown Sugar

½ Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1 Egg

For the Chocolate:

150g / 1 Cup Chocolate

55g / ¼ Cup Butter

40g / ¼ Cup Crushed Salted Peanuts

For the Peanut Cheese Topping:

225g / 1 Cup Cream Cheese

170g / 2/3 Cup Smooth Peanut Butter (Skippy)

100g / ¾ Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

120ml / ½ Cup Whipping Cream

Making the Cookie Base:

1. Prepare the tin by greasing it with a little butter and lining the base and sides with greaseproof paper/baking parchment. Preheat the oven to 190C/370F.
2. In a large bowl beat the butter, caster sugar and brown sugar together until creamy. Slowly add the egg and continue to mix.
3. Gradually sift in the flour, baking soda and salt and mix well until a dough forms. If it’s very soft pop it in the fridge for about 30 minutes.
4. Place the dough between two large sheets of cling film/saran wrap and roll the dough out to roughly fit the base of your prepared tray. Transfer it to the tray and lightly press it in until the entire base is covered and even.
5. Bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes until the edges are golden brown. Leave to cool while you prepare the chocolate layer.

Making the Chocolate Layer:

1. Over a bain-marie melt the chocolate with the butter until smooth and shiny. Allow the mixture to cool slightly.
2. Once cooled pour the chocolate over the cookie base and spread it out until even. Sprinkle over the crushed peanuts and with the back of a spoon, gently press them into the chocolate.
3. Place in the fridge to chill for around 30 minutes while you prepare the peanut cheese topping.

Making the Peanut Cheese Topping:

1. In a large bowl gently mix together the cream cheese, smooth peanut butter, sugar and cream. Once combined whisk it until pale and fluffy.
2. Spoon the peanut cheese mixture over the now chilled chocolate layer and smooth it out.
3. Sprinkle on top a few more crushed salted peanuts if you like, then place in the fridge for several hours until firm and chilled.
4. Once chilled remove the combination from the tin carefully and cut it into bars.

Dragon Age – Found Cake

When I had a read through Game Rant’s “Most Disappointing Games of 2011” I wasn’t surprised when I saw Dragon Age II among the expected movie tie-in games of the year. Although I know a lot of people loved it, it was a saddening shadow of the awesome that was Dragon Age and an even greater festering husk of Baldur’s Gate for me. I was so involved with Dragon Age and so attached to Alistair (I don’t even find blond men attractive) I once drunkenly reprimanded a guy with the same name at a party for sacrificing himself at the end of my tale. I’m not sure how he felt when I declared my love and explained the impending grief for both me and the people of Ferelden but thankfully I still had my trusty dog (Bucephalus) who once brought me this cake. Personally, I don’t know what the hell Tycho was complaining about – I’d eat a “found cake”. Cake is cake, after all.

This recipes serves 6.

What you will need: Two 8inch (20cm) round sandwich tins, sieve, 2 mixing bowls and a whisk.

Ingredients:

175g / ¾ Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup Caster/Fine Grain Sugar

3 Eggs (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup Self-Raising Flour

70g / ¼ Cup Cocoa Powder (High Quality)

1 Teaspoon Baking Powder

½ Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

To Garnish:

250ml / 1 Cup Whipping Cream

Icing/Confectioners Sugar (Optional)

2 Strawberries (Halved)

Dog Spittle (Optional)

Making the Found Cake:

1. Preheat the oven to 170C/325F. Grease the cake tin with a little butter, line it with greaseproof paper/baking parchment and set aside.
2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a large mixing bowl until pale and creamy. While continuing to mix, gradually add the eggs and whisk well until light and fluffy.
3. Sieve in half the flour, gently fold it in then sieve in the rest of the flour along with the cocoa powder and baking powder. Add the vanilla extract and stir.
4. Divide the cake mix between the prepared tins and bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes. The top of the cakes should spring back when softly pressed if ready. Once cooked, remove the cakes from the oven and allow to cool.
5. Once cooled, remove the cakes from the tins. Whip the cream (with a little sugar if you wish), spread half the cream on top of one layer then turn the other layer upside down, place it on top and cover with the remainder of the cream. Place 3 of the strawberry halves on top to decorate.
6. Optional: Place the cake on your kitchen floor and get your dog to serve it for that final, authentic touch.

I’ve based the recipe for the Found Cake off the traditional Victoria sponge. This is a simple, fuss-free cake that wouldn’t be out of place in a Ferelden setting. It’s incredibly light and fluffy which means you can eat four slices for each slice of normal cake, ideal for any New Year dieters, because I’m pretty sure lack of cake is what turned Flemeth into that dragon.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Portal - Cake.

Diablo – Health Potion

The red health potion, stored in a mystical apothecary vessel, is incredibly iconic in gaming and is found in many a dungeon crawler. Since I’m so excited for Diablo III I thought I’d focus on the most famous and original version as found in the series (though I’m aware that health potions are not being used in Diablo III – boo!). So in the spirit of Christmas and New Year being a time for relaxation and recuperation I thought this surprisingly sweet and refreshing health potion is just what most of us are looking for.

This recipe makes 1 drink.

Ingredients:

1 Measure Cranberry Gin

0.5 Measure Żubrówka (Buffalo/Bison Grass Vodka)

0.5 Measure Amaretto

Squeeze of Lime Juice

Top Up Tonic

Many people have been asking where to get the flask from - it was a lovely gift from a friend who picked it up at http://www.demijohn.co.uk/. For people outside the UK I came across this site which has a great selection http://www.specialtybottle.com/. Found somewhere better for the US? Let me know!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Golden Axe - The Meat.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Sweet Roll

This Friday Skyrim will be hitting the shelves and it’s one of my most highly anticipated releases of this year! Since I’ll be spending the entire weekend glued to my TV and ignoring all signals from my body that it’s tired and wants to go to bed (my brain will be shouting “DRAGONS!” to keep me perky) I figured I’d need some suitable snacks. I read a pretty funny article last week called “Things I Ate In Skyrim” that obviously included the infamous Sweet Roll. Before you climb up on your high armoured horse and start saying “that doesn’t look like any Sweetroll I’ve ever seen” this is a Skyrim edition Sweet Roll (note: no longer “Sweetroll” as it used to be in Morrorwind and Oblivion) that we got a sneak peek at - it seems to have gotten a bit of a visual upgrade and some frosting! I’ve gone with a dense spiced cake recipe that I think compliments the rustic, fantasy setting.

This recipe makes 6 Sweet Rolls.

What you will need: Large deep muffin tray, greaseproof paper/baking parchment, sieve, 2 bowls, wooden spoon, a pot and a knife.

For the Sweet Rolls:

180g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup White Caster Sugar

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup

2 Eggs (Room Temperature)

250g / 2 Cups Self-Raising Flour

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

125ml / ½ Cup Milk

For the Frosting:

200g / 1 Cup Cream Cheese

55g / ¼ Cup Butter

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

125g / 1 Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

For the Cinnamon Syrup:

2 Tablespoons Butter

2 Tablespoons White Caster Sugar

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

Preparing the Sweet Rolls:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. To prepare the muffin tray, cut small squares of greaseproof paper and stuff them into each muffin well – create folds and crinkles and then smooth them out to help create a rustic, uneven finish to the cakes.
2. In a large bowl cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and maple syrup together until pale and creamy. Add the eggs one and a time and mix well.
3. Sift in the self-raising flour and cinnamon then add the milk and stir gently until a smooth batter forms.
4. Fill the prepared muffin tray with the batter, filling each well nearly to the top and place in the pre-heated oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (a skewer inserted should come out clean when cooked thoroughly). Set aside and allow to cool completely while you prepare the syrup and frosting.

Making the Frosting:

1. Add the cream cheese, butter and vanilla extract in a bowl and mix gently until combined.
2. Slowly sift in the icing/confectioners sugar and stir gently. Allow to chill in the fridge before using.

Making the Cinnamon Syrup:

1. In a pan on a medium-high heat melt the butter, sugar and cinnamon together until the sugar has dissolved. Set aside for use later.

Making the Sweet Rolls:

1. Unwrap the cakes from the paper and careful slice the puffy top off the cake. Turn the cake upside down so that the cut top is now the bottom.
2. Cut a small hole in the top of the cake that’s about 1cm deep and 1cm across. Pour a little of the cinnamon syrup into the hole.
3. Drizzle the frosting over the top of the cake and serve.

Now for the infamous question: While in town the baker gives you a Sweetroll. Delighted, you take it into an alley to enjoy only to be interecepted by a gang of three other kids your age. The leader demands the Sweetroll, or else he and his friends will beat you and take it.

1. Act like you’re going to give him the Sweetroll, but at the last minute throw it into the air. Hoping that they’ll pay attention long enough for you to get a shot in on the leader.

2. Drop the Sweetroll and step on it, then get ready for the fight.

3. Give him the Sweetroll now without argument, knowing that later this afternoon you will have all your friends with you and can come and take whatever he owes you.

Protip: Don’t take your Sweet Rolls into any alleys.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - “S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread” with a Nirnroot Salad

My only experience of RPGs until I played The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion were games like Final Fantasy which all my friends played and I seriously struggled to get involved with. Each time one came out I’d go “maybe this time!” and pick it up and after about 10 hours would start to go insane with the start-stop action and repetitive stories… So when I was encouraged to play Oblivion I was sceptical. Then I spent over 200 hours of my life on it and I haven’t been the same person since! “S’Jirras Famous Potato Bread” is a rare food item you are rewarded with, obviously by S’Jirra, at Faregyl Inn for completing ‘The Potato Snatcher’ quest. 

But what would one eat with their potato bread while wandering the wilds of Cyrodiil? What possible vegetation could one gather?! Why that fauna so rare, the elusive and delicious Nirnroot of course! So instead of handing those precious Nirnroots over to Sinderion for an Elixir of Exploration, why not make a delightful salad?

This recipes serves 6-8.

What you will need:

Large baking tray, a pot, two large mixing bowls, a sieve and a little oil for greasing.

For the Potato Bread:

185ml Water

60ml Milk

2 Tablespoons Butter

1 ½ Teaspoons Salt

2 Tablespoons Sugar

225g Mashed Potatoes (approx. 2 medium potatoes)

400g Strong Bread Flour

1 ½ Teaspoons Fast Action Yeast

For the Nirnroot Salad:

Rocket

Baby Spinach

Watercress

Flat Parsley

½ A Fennel Bulb

For the Dressing:

50 ml Olive Oil

4 Tablespoons Lemon Juice

Salt

Pepper

Parmigiano-Reggiano (Parmesan) 

Making the Potato Bread:

1. Peel and boil approx. 2 medium potatoes that are suitable for mashing - I used Vivaldi baking potatoes. Once mashed, do not add anything to them!
2. In a pot, gently heat the water, milk and butter until the butter melts. 
3. Pour the mixture into a large bowl and add the salt, sugar and mashed potato. Mix thoroughly until the sugar has dissolved.
4. Sieve in half of the flour (200g) and mix well to form a kind of paste.
5. Once the mixture is lukewarm sprinkle in the yeast and mix thoroughly again.
6. Sieve the remaining 200g of flour in and mix until a ball of dough forms.
7. Place the dough on a lightly floured surface and kneed for 10 minutes until it is soft, smooth and no longer sticky. This may take a while, and you will have to re-flour the surface several times but keep at it and it will come together.
8. Grease a large bowl with a little oil, place the ball of dough inside top surface down, then turn it over so that both sides are lightly coated in oil. 
9. Cover the bowl with a damp tea-towel, put a plate on top and set in a warm place to rise for about 40-45 minutes.
10. Once the dough has risen and doubled in size - grease a large baking tray.
11. Remove the dough from the bowl and place on a floured surface. Punch back the dough to knock out any air. 
12. Form the dough into the desired shape, a kind of rustic bloomer, slice the top several times across to create the pattern and place on the prepared greased tray.
13. Leave in a warm place again for 40-45 minutes. 
14. Once doubled in size - pre-heat the oven to 190C.
15. Sprinkle a little flour over the dough and cook in the oven for 35-40 minutes until the loaf turns a golden brown and sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom.

Preparing the Dressing:

1. Mix the olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper together and stir well.

Preparing the Salad:

1. Wash and dry the Rocket, Baby Spinach, Watercress and Parsley.
2. Wash the Fennel and trim the base, then slice it in to fine strips and add to the salad.
3. Pour the dressing over the salad and mix well until all the leaves are coated.
4. Finely grate some parmigiano-reggiano over the salad.

I was really worried about making bread, I had tried once before in the past and failed miserably, it ended up like a rock, but this bread came out perfectly. I made it all by hand too so there’s seriously no need for a mixer or bread-maker. As a potato bread it did have a slightly different texture to most breads, it was incredibly light and moist but slightly dense, almost cake like. It went fabulously with the Nirnroot salad and array of vegetables and cheeses I served up and was super tasty with jam too - my friends thought I’d lied and bought it from the bakery around the corner it was that good! I’d say this bread was a complete success, it even looked just like S’Jirra’s, only I didn’t have to chase down any Ogres for the ingredients.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Elsweyr Fondue, Black Briar Mead & Grilled Leeks.