Request: The Sims - Goopy Carbonara

Despite my love of pasta/spaghetti, I’ve never made carbonara in my life. I’m mostly familiar with it coming in a powdered form in packets that you add milk to, with the result being more oddly acidic than creamy or delicious. I also understand that this is possibly the most bastardised recipe in Italian history, and in the effort of gaming authenticity I’ll be destroying carbonara once again by using cream and an onion, as is a mandatory inventory staple for any Sim.

Please make sure you have a smoke alarm installed before going any further, and don’t get distracted by a sudden urge to use the bathroom - the results could be disastrous! If a Sim can master this classic by Level 2, then so can anyone (or so you’d hope).

This recipe serves 2-3.

What you will need: A large pot, a large frying pan/skillet, a colander and a grater.

Ingredients:

250g / 9 oz Spaghetti/Bucatini

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

1 Small White Onion (Diced)

140g / 1 Cup Smoked Pancetta (Cubed)

25ml / .85 fl oz. White Wine (Optional)

2 Large Eggs (Room Temperature)

5 Tablespoons Percorino Cheese (Finely Grated)

40ml / 1.35 fl oz. Double/Heavy Cream

Fresh Black Pepper

Fresh Parsley (Chopped)

Making the Goopy Carbonara:

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil and cook your spaghetti ‘al dente’.
2. Meanwhile, heat a the olive oil in a large frying pan on a medium-high heat. Add the pancetta and fry it quickly until it’s lightly crisped. If you’re adding the wine, do so now and cook until evaporated.
3. By now your spaghetti should be done, strain it off but keep the water it cooked in to thin out the sauce later. Add the spaghetti to the pancetta and onion on a low heat and mix well.
4. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg, cream, grated cheese and pepper together. Take the frying pan off the heat and add the cream mixture, some chopped parsley and toss until the spaghetti is evenly coated.
5. Use the spaghetti water to thin out the sauce as desired, then ‘Call Household’ to the meal.

This Goopy Carbonara would be an incredible final meal for any Sim destined to enter a pool sometime later today, only to have the ladder mysteriously disappear… like I know so many of you are planning to do. For shame.

Like this? You might also enjoy The Sims - Key Lime Pie.

Dragon Age – Found Cake

When I had a read through Game Rant’s “Most Disappointing Games of 2011” I wasn’t surprised when I saw Dragon Age II among the expected movie tie-in games of the year. Although I know a lot of people loved it, it was a saddening shadow of the awesome that was Dragon Age and an even greater festering husk of Baldur’s Gate for me. I was so involved with Dragon Age and so attached to Alistair (I don’t even find blond men attractive) I once drunkenly reprimanded a guy with the same name at a party for sacrificing himself at the end of my tale. I’m not sure how he felt when I declared my love and explained the impending grief for both me and the people of Ferelden but thankfully I still had my trusty dog (Bucephalus) who once brought me this cake. Personally, I don’t know what the hell Tycho was complaining about – I’d eat a “found cake”. Cake is cake, after all.

This recipes serves 6.

What you will need: Two 8inch (20cm) round sandwich tins, sieve, 2 mixing bowls and a whisk.

Ingredients:

175g / ¾ Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup Caster/Fine Grain Sugar

3 Eggs (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup Self-Raising Flour

70g / ¼ Cup Cocoa Powder (High Quality)

1 Teaspoon Baking Powder

½ Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

To Garnish:

250ml / 1 Cup Whipping Cream

Icing/Confectioners Sugar (Optional)

2 Strawberries (Halved)

Dog Spittle (Optional)

Making the Found Cake:

1. Preheat the oven to 170C/325F. Grease the cake tin with a little butter, line it with greaseproof paper/baking parchment and set aside.
2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a large mixing bowl until pale and creamy. While continuing to mix, gradually add the eggs and whisk well until light and fluffy.
3. Sieve in half the flour, gently fold it in then sieve in the rest of the flour along with the cocoa powder and baking powder. Add the vanilla extract and stir.
4. Divide the cake mix between the prepared tins and bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes. The top of the cakes should spring back when softly pressed if ready. Once cooked, remove the cakes from the oven and allow to cool.
5. Once cooled, remove the cakes from the tins. Whip the cream (with a little sugar if you wish), spread half the cream on top of one layer then turn the other layer upside down, place it on top and cover with the remainder of the cream. Place 3 of the strawberry halves on top to decorate.
6. Optional: Place the cake on your kitchen floor and get your dog to serve it for that final, authentic touch.

I’ve based the recipe for the Found Cake off the traditional Victoria sponge. This is a simple, fuss-free cake that wouldn’t be out of place in a Ferelden setting. It’s incredibly light and fluffy which means you can eat four slices for each slice of normal cake, ideal for any New Year dieters, because I’m pretty sure lack of cake is what turned Flemeth into that dragon.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Portal - Cake.

Diablo – Health Potion

The red health potion, stored in a mystical apothecary vessel, is incredibly iconic in gaming and is found in many a dungeon crawler. Since I’m so excited for Diablo III I thought I’d focus on the most famous and original version as found in the series (though I’m aware that health potions are not being used in Diablo III – boo!). So in the spirit of Christmas and New Year being a time for relaxation and recuperation I thought this surprisingly sweet and refreshing health potion is just what most of us are looking for.

This recipe makes 1 drink.

Ingredients:

1 Measure Cranberry Gin

0.5 Measure Żubrówka (Buffalo/Bison Grass Vodka)

0.5 Measure Amaretto

Squeeze of Lime Juice

Top Up Tonic

Many people have been asking where to get the flask from - it was a lovely gift from a friend who picked it up at http://www.demijohn.co.uk/. For people outside the UK I came across this site which has a great selection http://www.specialtybottle.com/. Found somewhere better for the US? Let me know!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Golden Axe - The Meat.

Christmas Special Dessert: World of Warcraft - Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake

I’ve never set foot in Pandaria, been on a forty man raid at two o’clock in the morning to Darkwing Lair or suffered the ‘Wrath of the Lich King’… but I do like cake! I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve not yet earned my WoW badge, like I’ve also not earned my Minecraft one and in all seriousness it’s because I know I’d befall the trap and vanish into oblivion. To be honest, I’m saving my online RPG virginity for Diablo III which I am eagerly awaiting (for the love of God, Blizzard, I only have so much patience). Anyway, what better way too round off a Christmas feast than with a traditional fantasy fruitcake!

This recipes serves 8-10.

What you will need: A 25cm Bundt cake mould, 2 mixing bowls and a sieve.

For the Mince Meat Fruitcake:

250g / 1¾ Cups Self-Raising Flour

150g / ¾  Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

100g / ½ Cup Golden Caster Sugar

50g / ¼ Cup Dark Muscovado Sugar

75g / ½ Cup Mixed Dried Fruits

2 Eggs

450g / 1lb Jar of Mincemeat

75g / ½ Cup Flaked Almonds

120ml / ½ Cup Whisky (Optional)

To Garnish:

Icing/Confectioners Sugar

6 Glacé Cherries (Halved)

Making Graccu’s Mince Meat Fruitcake:

1. Sieve the self-raising flour twice into a large mixing bowl to aerate it properly, then set aside.
2. Grease the bundt tray well with a little butter and preheat the oven to 160C/325F.
3. In a separate bowl cream the butter and the sugar until well combined, try to break up the Muscovado sugar as much as possible.
4. Next add the dried fruits and almonds, stir well, then add the jar of mincemeat and mix again.
5. Beat the two eggs together and gradually add them to the mixture, stirring in as you add. If you’re adding the whisky, do so now and mix well.
6. Pour the wet ingredients into the flour and fold them together gently then pour the mix into the prepared bundt tray. Pop in the oven and cook for approximately 80-100 minutes – if it’s cooked an inserted skewer/knife will come out clean.
7. Once cooked remove from the oven and allow to cool completely in the bundt mould.
8. You can, if you wish, ‘feed’ the cake some more whisky by pouring small amounts over the cake every few hours . If you’re impatient (like me) simply remove once it’s cooled enough.
9. Sieve over a sprinkling of icing/confectioners sugar and arrange the glacé cherries around the top of the cake. Ideally, serve with some brandy cream.

This cake is “Preserved with Graccu’s special spices! It’ll be a very long time before these turn bad…”; I ate this entire cake in a day. I regret nothing. My Irish roots ensure I’m very particular when it comes to fruit cakes, I like them and I love that winter gives me the excuse to tuck into various incarnations starting with a Hallowe’en Barmbrack and finishing, very often, with a third helping of Christmas pudding. I’ll never again buy a Christmas cake now that I know how easy and cheap this is to make. Apparently you “must remain seated while eating” which is ideal should you choose to eat this while questing or watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” for the thousandth time.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread.

Request: The Sims – Key Lime Pie

Last Thursday it was Adam’s birthday, he hates the idea of birthday cakes and any kind of fanfare but I couldn’t let his day go by without him having something nice to eat. His favourite dessert is Key Lime pie and I just happened to have a string of requests for the same dish from when I made The Sims Mac and Cheese. Although not the most bizarre dish to appear in The Sims (I’m looking at you ‘Eggs Machiavellian’, eggs and watermelon? Really?!) it seems to be one of the most popular in-game desserts - I know that my Sim bakes it on a regular occasion only to leave servings of it around the house for impending pie emergencies. Since it now counts as a Gourmet Gaming post, it’s no longer a birthday treat and therefore acceptable for a non-celebration… right?

This recipe serves 6-8.

What you will need: A 9-inch pie dish, a whisk, a grater and a large bowl.

For the Crust:

200g / 2 Cups Crushed Digestives (or Graham Crackers)

2 Tablespoons Ground Ginger

45g / ¼ Cups Caster/Granulated Sugar

135g / ⅝ Cup Butter (Melted)

For the Lime Filling:

4 Large Egg Yolks

400ml / 1 ¾ Cups Condensed Milk

6 Tablespoons Fresh Lime Juice

2 Tablespoons Lime Zest (Grated)

To Garnish:

Lime Jelly (Jell-o)

120ml / ½ Cup Double Cream

2 Tablespoons Icing/Confectioners Sugar

5 Quarter-Lime Slices

Making the Key Lime Pie:

1. Preheat the oven to 175C/350F and place a baking tray inside. Grease and line a pie dish and set aside.
2. In a bowl combine the crushed digestives, ginger, sugar and butter then press evenly into the prepared pie dish. Place the pie dish in the oven on top of the preheated baking tray and bake for 10-15 minutes. Once cooked remove and set aside to cool.
3. In a clean bowl whisk the egg yolks until pale and fluffy and gradually add the condensed milk. Pour in the lime juice and add the lime zest, mix well then pour the mixture into the cooled pie base.
4. Place the pie back into the oven (still at 175C/350F) for about 15 minutes or until the mixture has set. Once cooked remove the pie and allow to cool before placing in the fridge to chill for at least 4 hours.
5. Prepare the lime jelly (Jell-o) as per the packet instructions. Allow the jelly mixture to cool significantly, once lukewarm remove the chilled pie from the fridge and carefully pour a small amount of the jelly liquid over (just enough to cover the pie filling) then return to the fridge until the jelly has set.
6. Before serving, whip the double cream with the sugar until it forms stiff peaks. Spoon the cream into an icing bag and pipe the cream in a circle around the edge and pipe a dollop into the middle of the pie. Arrange the lime slices around the centre.

I’m not usually a fan of citrus things, I often find lemony flavours over powering and they just make me feel like I’m eating kitchen cleaner. I had it in my mind that this was going to come out terrible, I didn’t even know what Key Lime Pie was supposed to taste like since I’d never dared try any before. It reminded me mostly of a cheese cake and amazingly the lime jelly added a nice sweetness against the tart filling. I’ve decided that baked creamy-pie-cake things are becoming my forte which is ironic considering they’re the one thing I can’t really eat but I suffer the small taster slice for you guys… Oh and Happy Birthday, Adam!

Like this? You might also enjoy the Sims - Mac and Cheese.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Sweet Roll

This Friday Skyrim will be hitting the shelves and it’s one of my most highly anticipated releases of this year! Since I’ll be spending the entire weekend glued to my TV and ignoring all signals from my body that it’s tired and wants to go to bed (my brain will be shouting “DRAGONS!” to keep me perky) I figured I’d need some suitable snacks. I read a pretty funny article last week called “Things I Ate In Skyrim” that obviously included the infamous Sweet Roll. Before you climb up on your high armoured horse and start saying “that doesn’t look like any Sweetroll I’ve ever seen” this is a Skyrim edition Sweet Roll (note: no longer “Sweetroll” as it used to be in Morrorwind and Oblivion) that we got a sneak peek at - it seems to have gotten a bit of a visual upgrade and some frosting! I’ve gone with a dense spiced cake recipe that I think compliments the rustic, fantasy setting.

This recipe makes 6 Sweet Rolls.

What you will need: Large deep muffin tray, greaseproof paper/baking parchment, sieve, 2 bowls, wooden spoon, a pot and a knife.

For the Sweet Rolls:

180g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

175g / ¾ Cup White Caster Sugar

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup

2 Eggs (Room Temperature)

250g / 2 Cups Self-Raising Flour

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

125ml / ½ Cup Milk

For the Frosting:

200g / 1 Cup Cream Cheese

55g / ¼ Cup Butter

1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

125g / 1 Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

For the Cinnamon Syrup:

2 Tablespoons Butter

2 Tablespoons White Caster Sugar

2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

Preparing the Sweet Rolls:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. To prepare the muffin tray, cut small squares of greaseproof paper and stuff them into each muffin well – create folds and crinkles and then smooth them out to help create a rustic, uneven finish to the cakes.
2. In a large bowl cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and maple syrup together until pale and creamy. Add the eggs one and a time and mix well.
3. Sift in the self-raising flour and cinnamon then add the milk and stir gently until a smooth batter forms.
4. Fill the prepared muffin tray with the batter, filling each well nearly to the top and place in the pre-heated oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (a skewer inserted should come out clean when cooked thoroughly). Set aside and allow to cool completely while you prepare the syrup and frosting.

Making the Frosting:

1. Add the cream cheese, butter and vanilla extract in a bowl and mix gently until combined.
2. Slowly sift in the icing/confectioners sugar and stir gently. Allow to chill in the fridge before using.

Making the Cinnamon Syrup:

1. In a pan on a medium-high heat melt the butter, sugar and cinnamon together until the sugar has dissolved. Set aside for use later.

Making the Sweet Rolls:

1. Unwrap the cakes from the paper and careful slice the puffy top off the cake. Turn the cake upside down so that the cut top is now the bottom.
2. Cut a small hole in the top of the cake that’s about 1cm deep and 1cm across. Pour a little of the cinnamon syrup into the hole.
3. Drizzle the frosting over the top of the cake and serve.

Now for the infamous question: While in town the baker gives you a Sweetroll. Delighted, you take it into an alley to enjoy only to be interecepted by a gang of three other kids your age. The leader demands the Sweetroll, or else he and his friends will beat you and take it.

1. Act like you’re going to give him the Sweetroll, but at the last minute throw it into the air. Hoping that they’ll pay attention long enough for you to get a shot in on the leader.

2. Drop the Sweetroll and step on it, then get ready for the fight.

3. Give him the Sweetroll now without argument, knowing that later this afternoon you will have all your friends with you and can come and take whatever he owes you.

Protip: Don’t take your Sweet Rolls into any alleys.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - S’Jirra’s Famous Potato Bread.

Request: Minecraft – Cake

I purposefully don’t play Minecraft; though enough of my friends have harassed me to play it and I’ve heard nothing bur praises. I’ve spoken before of my horribly addictive personality and I know that if I got involved in Minecraft I would never again see the light of day and they’d find my shrivelled, malnourished corpse collapsed over my laptop. It would be a good way to go, but just not yet. Either way Minecraft Cake has been on my list for a while now and enough of you have been asking for it so here you go!

This recipe makes 2 small cakes.

What you will need: Large mixing bowl, 20x20 square cake tin, small bowl, small pot, sieve, whisk, rolling pin, spatula, greaseproof/baking paper.

For the Cake:

200g / 1½ Cups Plain Flour

2 Teaspoons Baking Powder

200g / 1 Cup Golden Caster/Superfine Sugar

200g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)

2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract

3 Medium Eggs (Room Temperature)

3 Tablespoons Milk

For the Frosting:

100g / ½ Cup Dark Chocolate

25g / ¼ Cup Butter

150ml / ⅔ Cup Single Cream

100g - 200g / 1 - 1½ Cups Icing Sugar

To Finish:

White Ready-to-roll Icing

Red Ready-to-roll Icing

Preparing the Cake:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Grease and line a 20x20cm square cake tin.

2. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy.

3. Beat the eggs and add them slowly to the butter and sugar along with the vanilla extract.

4. Sieve in the flour and baking powder then combine it gently into the mixture. Pour into the prepared cake tin and place in the oven for 20-25 minutes.

5. Once golden brown and springy, allow to cool and store in the fridge while you prepare the frosting.

Making the Frosting:

1. In a bain-marie, melt the chocolate, butter and cream together until smooth.
2. Allow to cool until the mixture thickens slightly, then slowly whisk in the icing sugar until the chocolate is light and fluffy. Allow to cool further before spreading onto the cake.

Making the Cake:

1. Once the cake has cooled, level it carefully then cut it into 4. You may want to use a cookie cutter or make a template so each piece is of equal size.

2. Take a portion as your base and add a little frosting to the top of it and layer another piece of cake for the top – set aside.

3. On a clean work surface, sprinkle some icing sugar and roll out the white icing to about 1 cm thick and cut a piece large enough to comfortably cover the cake.

4. Spread some frosting on top of the cake and then cover with the white icing. Trim the icing, then cut in the pattern. You may want to make a template and use scissors/scalpel.

5. Roll out the red icing to about 1cm thick like before and cut out 4 large and 6 small squares, arrange the red squares on top of the cake to match the Minecraft Cake.

6. Cut appropriately to serve. If you leave the cake you will have to return to the cake to continue eating it.

I found this really stressful! I’ve made it at least three times now because this is a rather important entry! The cake its self is beautiful, just a simple sponge recipe, the tricky part is getting the shapes and icing correct. I didn’t think I would have to use my technical graphics skills to work out cake patterns – maybe I would have enjoyed it more at school if that had been its purpose from the start. All I can say is cardboard templates really saved the day here. You can of course make this cake massive if you have the right sized tins, I did not so I had to improvise and make smaller, personal cakes - that way I didn’t have to share. I am, however, officially sick of eating cake.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Minecraft - Mushroom Stew.

Beyond Good and Evil - Starkos

I missed out on Beyond Good and Evil the first time around but was fortunate enough to enjoy it when the HD version was released on Xbox Live earlier this year. I can see why it’s received so much critical acclaim; it’s a wonderful piece of adventure gaming and since seeing this video quite a while ago now I’m still eagerly awaiting a sequel… Making a Starkos is tricky business and it was supposed to be my second post here on Gourmet Gaming but I didn’t feel confident enough at the time to attempt it. When thinking about what a Starkos was I focused on the idea that it’s street food in the very culturally diverse land of Hillys - and who are the best species in Hillys? The Rhino humanoids over at Mammago Garage obviously. So I’ve taken a dip in their Jamaican-esque roots and have created a Starkos patty filled with a sweet, curried shrimp (since there’s a lot of water around - they must have a pretty good fishing trade, no?).

This recipe makes 4-6 Starkos.

What you will need: Large mixing bowl, a sieve, large pan, baking tray, greaseproof/baking paper, rolling pin and cling film.

For the Pastry:

250g Plain Flour

1 Teaspoon Salt

1 Tablespoon Turmeric

125g Shortening

125g Unsalted Butter

2 Tablespoons Ice Water

1 Beaten Egg

For the Shrimp Filling:

250g Small Prawns/Shrimp

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 Small Potatoes

½ White Onion

1 Large Clove Garlic

1 Tablespoon Mild Curry Powder

1 Tomato

110ml Coconut Cream

1 Teaspoon Paprika

1 Stalk Spring Onion

1 Teaspoon Parsley Leaves

1 Teaspoon Thyme Leaves

1-2 Dried Chillies

Making the Pastry:

1. Sieve the flour, salt and turmeric into a large bowl. Cut the butter and shortening into small chunks and use your fingers to rub it into the flour until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.
2. Add the water and mix gently until the dough comes together.
3. Lightly flour the ball of dough, wrap it in cling film and place in the fridge to chill for an hour.

Making the Shrimp Filling:

1. If needed, peel and de-vein your prawns and set them aside.
2. Peel and dice the potatoes and onion. Finely chop the garlic, spring onion and dried chillies. Deseed and skin the tomato.
3. Heat the olive oil in a large pan on a medium heat, then sauté the potatoes for about 10 minutes until they soften, stirring regularly.
4. Add the onion and spring onion and allow to cook until soft, then add the garlic, paprika, chillies and curry powder. Allow to simmer on a low heat for several minutes.
5. Pour in the coconut cream, add the tomato and sprinkle in thyme and parsley, simmer gently allowing the coconut cream to reduce a little.
6. Add the prawns, this may make the sauce watery which is fine, just allow it to reduce on a low heat then leave to cool.

Making the Starkos:

1. Preheat the oven to 200C. Lay out some cling film on the counter and lightly flour it. Take the dough from the fridge, remove a golf ball sized piece and place it on the cling film.
2. Cut another piece of cling film and lay it over the dough. Roll out the dough from the centre out until it’s about 1-2cm thick.
3. Take 1 heaped tablespoon of the shrimp filling and place it in the middle of the dough. Wash around the filling with the beaten egg and fold over the pastry. Press firmly around the filling to seal/bind the dough then trim it into the triangular shape - make sure to reuse any excess dough.
4. Place the Starkos on a baking tray lined with baking/greaseproof paper and cook for 15-20 minutes until crisp and golden brown.

My pastry for these was perfect, I think I levelled up nicely with the pastry for the Fable II Amazing Apple Pie. I’d ramp up the chilli if you like things hot, which I do, as the batch I made were a little mild for me. The test one I made was pretty huge too, I ate it for lunch and it was super filling, so I’d keep them rather small. A nice dipping sauce also wouldn’t go amiss. The filling to these is pretty tasty though - if you wanted you could just eat that with some rice and it would be awesome. Feel free to try your own variations of Starkos from the traditional beef or vegetable to maybe even a sweet version. So whether you’re luring out some of the shyer inhabitants of Hillys or restoring some hearts, these Starkos are sure to go down a treat at your next IRIS Network meeting.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Kirby’s Dream Land/Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Superspicy Curry.

Deus Ex - Chunko-honey Candy Bar

There was supposed to be a different post this week but it was swiftly changed after much complaining from a certain someone who was demanding a snack to eat while they played through the new Deus Ex that’s out on Friday (screw you, USA). So I obviously obliged when I discovered the Chunko-honey Candy Bar and managed to stop laughing at THIS video. I’ve sadly never played Deus Ex (shocking, I know) but I’m very much looking forward to getting in from work and not moving for the entire weekend. Although my lack of movement will probably have something to do with ingesting enough of these to feed a small country… then I could always use my Chunko-honeys to bribe small children to carry me around.

This recipe serves 8-10.

What you will need:

A deep square pan, baking/greaseproof paper.

Ingredients:

200g Chocolate (At least 70% Cocoa)

100g Unsalted Butter

1 Tablespoon Golden Syrup

3 Teaspoons Honey

100g Salted Peanuts

150g Cinder Toffee (Or Cadbury’s Crunchie)

Making the Chunko-honey:

1. Prepare the square dish by lining it with baking paper.
2. Smash the nuts and the cinder toffee into decent size chunks (not too big, not to small but just right) and put in a bowl.
3. On a low heat, melt the butter, golden syrup and honey in a pan. Once combined, remove from the heat and set aside.
4. Break the chocolate up into small chunks and melt it over a bain-marie.
5. Add the butter and syrup mixture to the chocolate and stir to combine, pour it over the nuts and cinder toffee and mix well.
6. Pour the chocolate mix into the prepared tin, then place in the fridge to cool and set for a few hours.
7. Once cooled, cut them into rectangular bars.

(Edit: I just realised upon further inspection of the Chunko-honey wrapper that it should indeed, and luckily does, include chunky chocolate and a honeycomb centre!)

OH SWEET JESUS.

Like this? You might also enjoy the EarthBound - Peanut Cheese Bars.

The Sims - Mac and Cheese

I’d been wanting to do something from The Sims for a really long time. I’ve been a life long fan and have probably spent too much time with the virtual versions of my family than the real thing (I like them more, I can make them do whatever I want…). I love that there’s so much scope and as the series has gone on the amount of food you can cook just keeps increasing as does the relationship between food and the Sims in-game; you can have a vegetarian or someone who will only eat burnt hamburgers over a sink. So it was hard to pick an iconic food until someone mentioned that mac and cheese was, for them, the thing they remembered most about The Sims. It’s the one main meal you can cook from the very beginning and for most Sims will probably be their staple food until the Grim Reaper comes for them. It’s a well known fact that I’m completely addicted to mac and cheese, I probably eat it at least once a week (sometimes three) and I blame this addiction on the fact that I couldn’t eat cheese for years until finally some smart people figured out how to remove the lactose from the cheese (thank you, food scientists, I owe you my happiness). This is a family recipe that I’ve improved on over the years and it’s always perfect when you just want to gorge on something and get that ‘warm-fuzzies’ feeling.

This recipe serves 2-4.

What you will need:

A non-stick pot, a large pot and a deep tray or casserole dish, baking paper or tinfoil.

Ingredients: 

250g Macaroni

40g Butter

2 Tablespoons Flour

350ml - 500ml Milk

120g Cheese(s) - I use a mild cheddar

½ Teaspoon English Mustard

Salt & Pepper

Breadcrumbs

Making the Mac and Cheese:

1. Prep your tray or casserole dish by lining it with baking paper or tin foil - this will save you tears when it comes to washing up. 
2. Boil some water in a large pot and cook the macaroni for about 6-8 minutes. 
3. Once cooked, remove from the water, strain, pour into the prepared tray/dish and set aside.
4. Preheat the oven to 200C.
5. Melt the butter in a non-stick pot on a high heat. Once melted add the flour a spoonful at a time and mix until the mixture comes together and it no longer sticks to the sides - the pot should look clean.
6. Slowly add the milk, about 25ml at a time, and stir continually so as not to burn the sauce. You might not need all the milk or you may need more - once it is runny but still a little thick it’s perfect.
7. Reduce the heat to medium and add the cheese (chop it into small pieces of grate it in and feel free to use as many cheeses as you like). Mix well until the cheese has melted.
8. Add the mustard, season well with the salt and pepper and stir once again.
9. Pour the mixture over the macaroni and mix until all the pasta is coated. Sprinkle on the breadcrumbs and put in the oven for around 20-25 minutes or until it is golden and crispy on top.

I like to demolish this dish with some home-made garlic bread so I recommend you do the same, seriously the only thing I can write is: NOMNOMNOM. Screw ambrosia, I’m sure it’s actually mac and cheese that’s the food of the Gods so getting your cooking skill to level 10 is such a waste of time. Spend it doing more constructive things like rooting in your neighbours trash can or playing a game (within a game - so meta).

Like this? You might also enjoy the Sims - Goopy Carbonara.