Catherine – Summer Squash Pasta (Catherine)

Peppy, seductive and somewhat complicated, Catherine is Vincent’s dream girl and she’s thrown his life upside-down. I’m exactly half way through the game at the moment, and I’m rather confused about who Catherine is and what her intentions are. I’m trying to dissuade her; being polite but firm. Though Vincent’s exclamations when ogling a revealing text while sitting on the toilet make it very hard to resist… Not that I think Katherine is the better choice - I just want him to escape from both of them if he can! I’ve chosen the Summer Squash Pasta for Catherine because it’s the only dish that’s related to her in the game, when she orders it from Chrono Rabbit. Maybe it’s the source of her charms.

This recipe serves 3 – 4.

What you will need: A large pot, a large pan, a baking tray and a strainer.

Ingredients:

350g / 3 ½ Cups Penne Pasta

1 Medium Squash (Any yellow variety will do)

Butter

Salt & Pepper

1 Large Garlic Clove (Finely Chopped)

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil

½ Teaspoon Dried Red Chillies

100g / 1 Cup Courgette/Zucchini (Diced)

100g / 1 Cup Cherry Tomatoes (Halved)

250ml / 1 Cup Water

½ Teaspoon Dried Basil

Fresh Coriander

Fresh Parsley

Parmesan Cheese (Optional)

Making the Summer Squash Pasta:

1. Preheat the oven to 200C/390F. Cut the squash in half and remove any seeds. Cover it with butter and season to taste with a salt and pepper. Bake the squash until it’s soft when poked with a knife. Depending on it’s size, this can take from 25-45 minutes.
2. Once cooked, remove the squash from the oven and allow it to cool. Once cool, scoop out the flesh, purée it and set aside for later.
3. Warm a large pan on a medium heat and add the olive oil. Fry the garlic and dried chillies for about a minute then add the diced courgette/zucchini and halved cherry tomatoes.
4. Fry the courgette/zucchini and tomatoes until they begin to soften. Once soft, add the squash purée and slowly add the water to loosen the sauce, you might not need all of it. Reduce the temperature to low, sprinkle in some basil and season the sauce to taste.
5. Boil the penne pasta in a large pot as per the directions on the packet. When the pasta is ready, strain it and add it directly to the sauce in the pan. Mix it well so the pasta is well coated then serve with freshly chopped coriander, parsley and grated parmesan if desired.

Unfortunately there’s no comparison image for the Summer Squash Pasta as it’s never actually revealed in the game. The only instance of it is when Catherine arrives at Chrono Rabbit and is pretty excited that it’s still on their menu. I was actually pleasantly surprised by this dish; I like squash, but it wasn’t until I researched the idea of ‘summer squash’ that I discovered that the humble courgette, or zucchini, was to be one of my main ingredients. The sauce is incredibly light but rather creamy and the chillies add a wonderful warmth at the end. You could easily enjoy this dish hot or cold, so it’s a perfect transitional meal between winter and summer. Or girlfriends.

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Dead Rising - Golden Brown Pizza

I’ll happily be the first to admit how much I really didn’t enjoy Dead Rising. I wanted to enjoy it; zombies, open world, plethora of weapons, photography… what wasn’t to like?! It just didn’t come together for me. After the 50th novelty Servbot mask and the 4000th victim of my lawnmower, all while I ran around in a rather fetching red dress, it just became old. What didn’t get old though was taking lecherous yet hilarious photos down or up my young female victims respective clothing… It often accosts me from my shelf because I rarely leave a game unfinished even if I’m not enjoying it all that much. But there is a reason behind picking this game over one that I actually enjoy: pizza. I’ve been looking for an excuse to make pizza for about two months; I’d considered TMNT, Neo Kobe and even No More Heroes to name a few, but I couldn’t source enough information to justify making the pizza - UNTIL TODAY. 

This recipe makes 3 Golden Brown Pizzas.

What you will need: Large pizza stone or pizza tray, sieve, large mixing bowl, measuring jug, rolling pin, medium bowl.

For the Dough:

500g ‘00’ Flour

½ Teaspoon Salt

7g Sachet of Dried Yeast

½ Tablespoon Sugar

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

325ml Warm Water

For the Tomato Base:

300g Tinned Plum Tomatoes

4 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Fresh Basil

Dried Oregano

Salt & Pepper

Toppings:

Fresh Hard Mozzarella

Green Pepper

Pineapple Chunks

Black Olives

Pepperoni

Preparing the Dough:

1. In a jug filled with 325ml warm water, add the yeast sugar and olive oil and leave to stand for a few minutes.
2. Sieve the flour and salt into a bowl and make a well in the middle then pour the water and yeast mixture into the hole.
3. Use a fork to slowly mix the flour and the water, once the dough comes together, turn it out onto a floured surface and kneed with floured hands.
4. Once the dough forms a smooth ball, place it in a bowl lightly oiled with olive oil, cover with a damp cloth and leave in a warm place for about an hour.
5. While the dough is rising, you can prepare the tomato sauce base.

Preparing the Tomato Base:

1. Put the tomatoes in a bowl and break them up with a fork. 
2. Add the salt & pepper and herbs to taste, add the olive oil then mix. You do not need to cook this sauce.

Making the Golden Brown Pizza:

1. Preheat the oven to its highest setting with your pizza stone/tray inside.
2. Have all your toppings ready; peppers and olives sliced and mozzarella grated.
3. Once the dough has doubled in size, remove it from the bowl and place on a floured surface, knock back the dough with your fists to get the air out.
4. Separate a piece of the dough, enough to make a pizza the size of your stone/tray, and roll it out into a rough circle.
5. Take the preheated stone/tray out of the oven and place your base onto it - trim any edges with a sharp knife if you‘d like a perfect circle or fold them up to make a crust.
6. Spread just enough of the marinara sauce to cover the top - too much will make the base soggy, make sure to leave a little edge. Sprinkle the mozzarella on first, then the pepperoni, pineapple, olives and peppers and drizzle lightly with some olive oil.
7. Place in the middle of the preheated oven and cook until golden brown.

Despite being half Italian, I’ve not made many pizzas. As expected, pizza making usually falls to my mother who has always been quick to shoo me from the kitchen which is probably why I didn’t really learn to cook until I left home. I had attempted to make a complicated ‘marinara’ style sauce for this, but I failed and it ended up like chunky tomato soup (for shame). When my mother wouldn’t answer her phone to impart her saucy secrets, I happily turned to my copy of Two Greedy Italians (a birthday present) and what a surprise, the tomato sauce base recipe was identical to my moms. Sometimes I think Italians have a shared consciousness for recipes. While the Golden Brown Pizza is supposed to be cooked in a microwave (god forbid - I don’t even own one), I decided that I’d rather have it more rustic and traditional. The toppings were rather tricky to figure out, that picture isn’t the clearest, though through much squinting I thought there was most likely pineapple on that pizza and I allowed it as a faithful American twist, even though my Nonno is probably rolling in his grave at the thought of it. While I couldn’t eat this pizza, I certainly enjoyed smelling it and the pizza I made for myself was awesome, I can seriously recommend this recipe as the ultimate in pizza-making and zombie-surviving snacks and what the hell is better than that?

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The Sims - Mac and Cheese

I’d been wanting to do something from The Sims for a really long time. I’ve been a life long fan and have probably spent too much time with the virtual versions of my family than the real thing (I like them more, I can make them do whatever I want…). I love that there’s so much scope and as the series has gone on the amount of food you can cook just keeps increasing as does the relationship between food and the Sims in-game; you can have a vegetarian or someone who will only eat burnt hamburgers over a sink. So it was hard to pick an iconic food until someone mentioned that mac and cheese was, for them, the thing they remembered most about The Sims. It’s the one main meal you can cook from the very beginning and for most Sims will probably be their staple food until the Grim Reaper comes for them. It’s a well known fact that I’m completely addicted to mac and cheese, I probably eat it at least once a week (sometimes three) and I blame this addiction on the fact that I couldn’t eat cheese for years until finally some smart people figured out how to remove the lactose from the cheese (thank you, food scientists, I owe you my happiness). This is a family recipe that I’ve improved on over the years and it’s always perfect when you just want to gorge on something and get that ‘warm-fuzzies’ feeling.

This recipe serves 2-4.

What you will need:

A non-stick pot, a large pot and a deep tray or casserole dish, baking paper or tinfoil.

Ingredients: 

250g Macaroni

40g Butter

2 Tablespoons Flour

350ml - 500ml Milk

120g Cheese(s) - I use a mild cheddar

½ Teaspoon English Mustard

Salt & Pepper

Breadcrumbs

Making the Mac and Cheese:

1. Prep your tray or casserole dish by lining it with baking paper or tin foil - this will save you tears when it comes to washing up. 
2. Boil some water in a large pot and cook the macaroni for about 6-8 minutes. 
3. Once cooked, remove from the water, strain, pour into the prepared tray/dish and set aside.
4. Preheat the oven to 200C.
5. Melt the butter in a non-stick pot on a high heat. Once melted add the flour a spoonful at a time and mix until the mixture comes together and it no longer sticks to the sides - the pot should look clean.
6. Slowly add the milk, about 25ml at a time, and stir continually so as not to burn the sauce. You might not need all the milk or you may need more - once it is runny but still a little thick it’s perfect.
7. Reduce the heat to medium and add the cheese (chop it into small pieces of grate it in and feel free to use as many cheeses as you like). Mix well until the cheese has melted.
8. Add the mustard, season well with the salt and pepper and stir once again.
9. Pour the mixture over the macaroni and mix until all the pasta is coated. Sprinkle on the breadcrumbs and put in the oven for around 20-25 minutes or until it is golden and crispy on top.

I like to demolish this dish with some home-made garlic bread so I recommend you do the same, seriously the only thing I can write is: NOMNOMNOM. Screw ambrosia, I’m sure it’s actually mac and cheese that’s the food of the Gods so getting your cooking skill to level 10 is such a waste of time. Spend it doing more constructive things like rooting in your neighbours trash can or playing a game (within a game - so meta).

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Request: Paper Mario - Koopasta

I got a request through to make some Koopasta and was rather envious that I hadn’t thought of this sooner - after all spaghetti is Mario and Luigi’s favourite food. Koopasta (I guess Koopaghetti didn‘t have the same ring to it) can be made by cooking a ‘Koopa Leaf’ with some ‘Dried Pasta’ in the original Paper Mario or with ‘Fresh Pasta’/’Spaghetti’ and a ‘Turtley Leaf’ in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. I had never played Paper Mario until I got Super Paper Mario for the Wii and I thought it was pretty damn awesome; though I think I became too obsessed with trying to collect things from some guy who, from what I can recall, would appear in some sewer system and try to sell me things that would only spawn on certain dates and times ultimately reminding me why this aspect of Japanese gaming is detrimental to my health. Anyway, there’s two versions of the dish that look rather different and since the requester never specified which Paper Mario I’ve gone with the one that looks slightly more iconic or at least more interesting to make. 

This recipe serves 2-4.

What you will need:

Large pot, frying pan, a bowl and a food blender or mortar and pestle.

Ingredients:

250g Fresh Spaghetti/Tagliatelle Verdi

1 Baby Gem Lettuce Leaf

1 Clove Garlic

60g Fresh Basil

20g Pine Nuts

5 Tablespoons Olive Oil

Parmesan Cheese

Salt

Pepper

Preparing the Pesto:

1. Lightly toast the pine nuts in a dry pan and set aside.
2. Put the garlic, basil and a pinch of salt into a food blender and pulse.
3. Add the pine nuts and blend again.
4. Pour the mixture into a bowl, add the parmesan and olive oil and stir.
5. Season with salt and pepper to taste and add more parmesan if you want.

Making the Koopasta:

1. With the pesto prepared, boil some water in a deep pot then add the spaghetti verdi and cook as per the instructions on your pack.
2. Once cooked, strain the spaghetti, return it to the pot (not on the heat) and slowly add pesto to the spaghetti until there’s just enough to coat the spaghetti in the sauce.
3. Serve and garnish with a baby gem lettuce leaf.

I hate pesto. When I decided to make this my taste tester remarked “but we hate pesto, why would we eat this?”, then he realised that a few weeks ago he did eat a sandwich filled with turkey, jam and Cookie Crisp cereal so maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. Whenever I think about pesto I just think of that episode of Seinfeld (The Busboy) where George says “Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I’ll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it. Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that’s all you hear - pesto, pesto, pesto.” But now I love pesto. As long as it’s my pesto and not some swamp juice from a jar.

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