Grand Theft Auto IV - “The Bleeder”

Like many of you recently, I’d become completely addicted to Rockstar’s latest offering L.A Noire. So when it came to thinking about what to make this week I decided to have a look through the Rockstar back catalogue for inspiration. Thankfully Grand Theft Auto has always offered a range of foods from every incarnation, but I felt Liberty City from GTA IV had the most iconic choices to pick from. My original thought was the myth of “The Heart Stopper”, 6lbs of meat and cheese that will “Kill someone in 5 seconds flat”. Although advertised throughout the game you can only buy a “Bleeder” for $1 at a Burger Shot despite the visible menu options that were also previously available in Vice City and San Andreas. Sadly after a little research “The Heart Stopper” became more and more out of reach due to the cost of creating such a burger (I’m thinking of starting a “Heart Stopper” donation fund) and eventually I settled on the option that was actually available to the player, so it seemed like a fair compromise.

My recipe for “The Bleeder” is based solely off the menu picture in the restaurant. It contains two ¼ pounder burgers, two types of cheese and four sauces obviously topped with bacon to create a seriously awesome burger that unlike “The Heart Stopper” wont send you to your grave, but will bring you one step closer.

With this recipe please feel free to substitute some of the ingredients to suit your tastes, I’m simply providing the ingredients that I used to create the type of burger I wanted for “The Bleeder”.

This recipe serves 1.

What you will need:

Frying pan, griddle pan (Or whatever you like to cook your burger on), deep pot or a deep fat fryer.

Ingredients:

1 Large White Burger Bun

2 ¼ Pound Beef Patties 

2 Types of Cheese - Mature Red Cheddar, Applewood Mild Smoked Cheddar (I chose pre-sliced for ease)

3 Pieces of Bacon (Unsmoked)

1 Medium Gherkin

1 Large Ripe Tomato

1 Head of Butterhead Lettuce

4 Sauces - Mayonnaise, French’s American Mustard, Smoky Chipotle Chilli Relish, Ketchup

For the Crispy Onions:

1 Medium White Onion

Flour

Salt and Pepper

Oil

For the Garnish:

1 Wooden Skewer

Preparing the Crispy Onions:

1. Heat some oil in a deep pan (or use a deep fat fryer if you have one).
2. Slice the onion into thin rings.
3. Season the flour with a little salt and pepper.
4. Coat the onions in the flour mixture then dust off any excess.
5. Drop the onions into the heated oil and fry until crispy.

Preparations:

1. Slice the gherkin and tomato and tear off a few lettuce leafs. 
2. Fry the bacon in a little oil in a frying pan until nicely crisp.
3. If your burgers seem thick; I’d recommend flattening them out so that they cook into a thinner and wider shape unless you want a tower of meat like mine.
4. Cook your burgers however you like them. I’ve chosen to cook mine in a griddle pan for a little added flavour and have cooked them medium rare.
5. Once cooked layer the mature red cheddar, gherkin and Applewood cheese on to one of the burgers and place under a grill for a few minutes until the cheese has melted a little.

Preparing the Burger:

1. Slice in the burger bun in half and warm through by placing in an oven.
2. Layer the burger up in the following order, from bottom to top: bun, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, burger, mature cheddar, gherkins, Applewood cheese, American mustard, burger, chilli relish, crispy onions, bacon, ketchup, bun.
3. Slide the skewer through the burger to hold it together!

Best served with an ice cold Pißwasser on the side!

Although my burger is clearly massive and doesn’t exactly resemble the one on the Burger Shot menu, I’m still calling this a success. Those I made it for hailed it as “the worlds greatest tasting burger” and complimented the balance of flavour within it. Since I made it I’ve edited the recipe slightly to create a more faithful visual representation of “The Bleeder”, resulting in a flatter appearance. In fact, the veggie-burger version I made looked more like it was from Burger Shot. It was delicious and something I will most definitely be making again because right after I ate it I wished I’d had another one to gobble.

Like this? You might also enjoy the Grand Theft Auto IV - Cluckin’ Bell Fowl Burger.