Shadow of Memories/Shadow of Destiny: Chocolate Sample

To celebrate of a whole year of Gourmet Gaming this week, I thought I’d feature a recipe from my favourite game, Shadow of Memories.
You can grab this easily missed ‘Chocolate Sample’ in chapter 3 from Marie’s Bakery during 2001, but it isn’t an essential item to Eike Kusch’s ultimate survival. As the description hints, you can give it to any female character in the game and sweeten her mood. I personally like to give it to Margarette who, living in 1580, has never tasted chocolate before, and seems incredibly delighted by it. I can’t really imagine what it must be like to taste chocolate for the first time… Almost like telling a girl who has a crush on you that she might be your ancestor; devastating but delicious. Set in the fictional German town of “Lebensbaum”, I thought the oft mistaken for actually being German, classic ‘German chocolate cake’, would be a good place to draw inspiration for this decadent, yet currently unnamed, chocolate sample.
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe makes 12-15 Chocolate Samples.
What you will need: Yellow cupcake cases, a baking tray, 3 large bowls, 1 small bowl, a small pot, a sieve, an icing bag/syringe and a whisk.
For the Chocolate Samples:
60g / ½ Cup High Quality Dark Chocolate
60ml / ¼ Cup Fresh Hot Coffee/Water
115g / 1 Cup Unsalted Butter
140g / ¾ Cup Granulated Sugar
2 Large Eggs (Separated) (Room Temperature)
½ Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
110g / 1 Cup Plain Flour
1 Tablespoon Cocoa Powder
½ Teaspoon Bicarbonate Soda/Baking Soda
Pinch of Salt
125ml / ½ Cup Whole Milk
For the Ganache:
85g / ¾ Cup High Quality Chocolate
65ml / ¼ Cup Double/Heavy Cream
For the Frosting:
90g / ¾ Cup Butter
280g / 2¾ Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar
40g /⅓ Cup Cocoa Powder
4 Tablespoons Whole Milk
For the Garnish:
30g / ¼ Cup Sweetened Desiccated Coconut
30g / ¼ Cup Pecans (Chopped)
Preparing the Chocolate Sample:
Preheat the oven to 180C/350F. Place the cupcake cases on a baking tray and set aside.
In a large mixing bowl beat the sugar and butter together until pale. Add the 2 egg yolks and the vanilla and beat for another minute.
In a separate bowl, pour the hot coffee/water over the chocolate and stir until melted. Pour the melted chocolate into the large bowl over the butter, sugar and eggs and mix well.
Gradually sieve in the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt, stirring gently. Finally, add the milk and mix gently once again.
In a clean, dry bowl, whisk up the two left over egg whites until puffy. You should be able to hold the bowl over your head and the egg whites wont fall out! Fold the egg whites into the cake batter a spoon at a time, being careful not to knock any of the air out.
Divide the mixture between the cupcake casing, filling each 2/3 full. Place the tray in the middle of the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes.
Once firm, but springy, remove the cupcakes from the oven to cool completely.
Making the Frosting:
In a large bowl add the butter and beat it until it’s pale. Gradually sieve in the icing sugar and cocoa powder, beating vigorously and adding a tablespoon of milk in between.
Once well combined and fluffy, place in the fridge for later.
Preparing the Garnish:
In a clean, dry pan, add the sweetened desiccated coconut and chopped pecans. Toast them gently on a medium high heat until just turning golden, then remove and set aside.
Making the Chocolate Ganache:
Chop the chocolate up finely and place in a large bowl. Meanwhile, in a pot, bring the cream to the boiling point on a medium heat.
Once bubbling, pour the hot cream over the chocolate and mix well until melted and combined. Set the mixture aside to cool to room temperature.
Making the Chocolate Samples:
Spoon a little of the chocolate ganache on top of each cupcake. Make sure it covers the entire cupcake and creates a smooth, even surface. You can place the cupcakes in the fridge to help them set.
Once the ganache is firm, fill your icing bag/syringe with the chocolate frosting and pipe a medium swirl from the centre. Sprinkle over the toasted coconut and pecan, then top with a whole pecan. Give them away as free samples, or eat them all yourself. Like me.

Got cake. Ate cake. Now require one digipad to go back in time to when I still had cake so I can eat it all over again. If that was my purgatory, things wouldn’t be so bad, like some kind of chocolate Sisyphus. People who say things are “too sweet” or “too rich” or “too chocolately” don’t know what they’re talking about. There’s no such thing as any of the above, but if there were, it might apply to these incredible samples. I’ve yet to eat any chocolate cupcake quite like these, or play another game quite Shadow of Memories.
Like this? You might also enjoy the EarthBound – Peanut Cheese Bars.

Shadow of Memories/Shadow of Destiny: Chocolate Sample

Difficulty: 3.5 Hearts

To celebrate of a whole year of Gourmet Gaming this week, I thought I’d feature a recipe from my favourite game, Shadow of Memories.

You can grab this easily missed ‘Chocolate Sample’ in chapter 3 from Marie’s Bakery during 2001, but it isn’t an essential item to Eike Kusch’s ultimate survival. As the description hints, you can give it to any female character in the game and sweeten her mood. I personally like to give it to Margarette who, living in 1580, has never tasted chocolate before, and seems incredibly delighted by it. I can’t really imagine what it must be like to taste chocolate for the first time… Almost like telling a girl who has a crush on you that she might be your ancestor; devastating but delicious. Set in the fictional German town of “Lebensbaum”, I thought the oft mistaken for actually being German, classic ‘German chocolate cake’, would be a good place to draw inspiration for this decadent, yet currently unnamed, chocolate sample.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Request: Muramasa: The Demon Blade – Fish Udon (???)

People always send in requests for Muramasa: The Demon Blade, a game which I had never heard of, and that even after lengthy investigation remains completely enigmatic to me. There’s very little information available about this game, for example the Wikia only has 13 pages. Thirteen! If half the people who asked for Muramasa related food had taken the time to perhaps contribute to that Wikia then I might know what the hell I’m cooking. Truth be told here, the recipe below is based solely on the most common image used to represent the (apparently) wide variety of dishes available at noodle houses through the game – so in a sense it’s the purest Gourmet Gaming dish; it only has its in-game representation influencing it and nothing else. If you happen to know what this is, or could provide more information than the few people I passed the picture around, please let me know!
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 2.
What you will need: A Large wok and a frying pan.
Ingredients:
2 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon Toasted Sesame Oil
2 Tablespoons Chinese Five Spice
1 Medium White Onion (Sliced)
½ Medium Red Chilli (Sliced)
75g / 1 Cup Button Mushrooms (Quatered)
150g / 1 ½ Cup Pak Choi (Roughly Chopped)
500ml / 2 Cups Vegetable Stock
Dark Soy Sauce
150g / 1 Cup Udon Noodles
2 Seabass Fillets
2 Spring Onions/Scallions (Sliced)
Making the Fish Udon (???):
On a medium heat, warm a tablespoon of olive oil and sesame oil in a wok. Next add the Chinese five spice, white onion and red chilli and fry for about a minute.
Add the mushrooms and pak choi and cook until soft. Pour in the vegetable stock, add a dash of soy sauce and allow the liquid to simmer gently on a low heat.
Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a frying pan on a low heat and warm through the udon noodles; once warm serve them in the bowls.
Turn the heat on the frying pan up high, add a little more oil if required then add the seabass fillets skin side down. Allow the fish to fry for about 2 minutes, then flip it over and cook for another 2.
Pour the broth and vegetables over the noodles, then layer with the seabass. Garnish the dish with sliced chillies and spring onions.

I’m not sure what I just made, but it was seriously delicious. The great thing about Asian style cuisine is how fast and simple it can be, and it leaves a wondering feelings of being well fed, almost cleansed. During my searching I discovered that food was actually a great influence in Muramasa and that recreating the “pleasure of eating” was an important aspect of its design. With an ethos like that, and after tasting this dish, I think it’s a game I would most definitely like to experience.
Like this? You might also enjoy the Persona 4 - Aiya Rainy Day Special Mega Beef Bowl.

Request: Muramasa: The Demon Blade – Fish Udon (???)

Difficulty - 2 Hearts

People always send in requests for Muramasa: The Demon Blade, a game which I had never heard of, and that even after lengthy investigation remains completely enigmatic to me. There’s very little information available about this game, for example the Wikia only has 13 pages. Thirteen! If half the people who asked for Muramasa related food had taken the time to perhaps contribute to that Wikia then I might know what the hell I’m cooking. Truth be told here, the recipe below is based solely on the most common image used to represent the (apparently) wide variety of dishes available at noodle houses through the game – so in a sense it’s the purest Gourmet Gaming dish; it only has its in-game representation influencing it and nothing else. If you happen to know what this is, or could provide more information than the few people I passed the picture around, please let me know!

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Animal Crossing – Brewster’s Pigeon Blend

Here at Gourmet Gaming we’re big fans of Loading’s 9-Bit Mega Coffee, and have been looking for the perfect recipe so showcase it for some time. While coffee does feature quite often in games, it’s never been more charming as in Animal Crossing. Visit The Roost, and once a day Brewster will serve you his perfect blend, sometimes with a splash of pigeon milk – if you’re lucky. For a mere 200 bells you can enjoy this sweet and smooth treat. Just don’t wait for it to cool! Are you insane?!
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 1.
What you will need: A Moka Express/Espresso Maker/Cafetiere etc., a small mug and a small pan.
Ingredients:
75ml / 2.5 fl oz. Fresh Espresso/Strong Coffee
25ml / 0.85 fl oz. Vanilla Coffee Syrup
50ml / 1.7 fl oz. Almond Milk
100ml / 3.5 fl oz. Whole Milk
Optional Garnish:
Double/Heavy Cream
Feathers
Making Brewster’s Pigeon Blend:
In a small pan, warm the whole milk and almond milk together - don’t let it boil! Have your cup ready with the vanilla syrup filling the bottom.
Prepare your coffee. Once the almond milk and milk is near boiling point, pour it into the mug on top of the vanilla syrup.
Next add the shot of espresso on top, then swirl through with a little cream. Garnish with a few Brewster feathers.

Turning on my DS was a stressful affair, I tried to avoid looking at all those weeds… It’s just as well I had this cup of java to pick me up. Though Brewster would rather you took your coffee black, his legendary Pigeon Blend is a beautiful homage in gaming, but could you expect anything less?! For the record, I did research the idea of actually using ‘pigeon milk’ and soon discovered ‘crop milk’. Something you definitely don’t want in your morning coffee.
You can buy Loading's 9-Bit Mega Coffee from Firebox.com.
Like this? You might also enjoy the Animal Crossing: Wild World – Birthday Cake.

Animal Crossing – Brewster’s Pigeon Blend

Difficulty - 1 Heart

Here at Gourmet Gaming we’re big fans of Loading’s 9-Bit Mega Coffee, and have been looking for the perfect recipe so showcase it for some time. While coffee does feature quite often in games, it’s never been more charming as in Animal Crossing. Visit The Roost, and once a day Brewster will serve you his perfect blend, sometimes with a splash of pigeon milk – if you’re lucky. For a mere 200 bells you can enjoy this sweet and smooth treat. Just don’t wait for it to cool! Are you insane?!

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Request: The Sims - Goopy Carbonara

Despite my love of pasta/spaghetti, I’ve never made carbonara in my life. I’m mostly familiar with it coming in a powdered form in packets that you add milk to, with the result being more oddly acidic than creamy or delicious. I also understand that this is possibly the most bastardised recipe in Italian history, and in the effort of gaming authenticity I’ll be destroying carbonara once again by using cream and an onion, as is a mandatory inventory staple for any Sim.
Please make sure you have a smoke alarm installed before going any further, and don’t get distracted by a sudden urge to use the bathroom - the results could be disastrous! If a Sim can master this classic by Level 2, then so can anyone (or so you’d hope).
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 2-3.
What you will need: A large pot, a large frying pan/skillet, a colander and a grater.
Ingredients:
250g / 9 oz Spaghetti/Bucatini
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Small White Onion (Diced)
140g / 1 Cup Smoked Pancetta (Cubed)
25ml / .85 fl oz. White Wine (Optional)
2 Large Eggs (Room Temperature)
5 Tablespoons Percorino Cheese (Finely Grated)
40ml / 1.35 fl oz. Double/Heavy Cream
Fresh Black Pepper
Fresh Parsley (Chopped)
Making the Goopy Carbonara:
Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil and cook your spaghetti ‘al dente’.
Meanwhile, heat a the olive oil in a large frying pan on a medium-high heat. Add the pancetta and fry it quickly until it’s lightly crisped. If you’re adding the wine, do so now and cook until evaporated.
By now your spaghetti should be done, strain it off but keep the water it cooked in to thin out the sauce later. Add the spaghetti to the pancetta and onion on a low heat and mix well.
In a separate bowl, whisk the egg, cream, grated cheese and pepper together. Take the frying pan off the heat and add the cream mixture, some chopped parsley and toss until the spaghetti is evenly coated.
Use the spaghetti water to thin out the sauce as desired, then ‘Call Household’ to the meal.

This Goopy Carbonara would be an incredible final meal for any Sim destined to enter a pool sometime later today, only to have the ladder mysteriously disappear… like I know so many of you are planning to do. For shame.
Like this? You might also enjoy The Sims - Key Lime Pie.

Request: The Sims - Goopy Carbonara

Difficulty - 2 Hearts

Despite my love of pasta/spaghetti, I’ve never made carbonara in my life. I’m mostly familiar with it coming in a powdered form in packets that you add milk to, with the result being more oddly acidic than creamy or delicious. I also understand that this is possibly the most bastardised recipe in Italian history, and in the effort of gaming authenticity I’ll be destroying carbonara once again by using cream and an onion, as is a mandatory inventory staple for any Sim.

Please make sure you have a smoke alarm installed before going any further, and don’t get distracted by a sudden urge to use the bathroom - the results could be disastrous! If a Sim can master this classic by Level 2, then so can anyone (or so you’d hope).

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Legend of Grimrock – Blueberry Pie

Last weekend my significant other came to bed around 4AM, so I naturally asked where he’d been. Many suspicious girlfriends would think of the obvious; another woman or a secret shame, like eating flowers in the bathroom, but I knew better.
It turned out he’d discovered this amazing game called Legend of Grimrock; a seriously awesome old school dungeon crawler as a stunning modern incarnation. I fell in love with the game instantly; it was so mysterious and beautifully designed, and when I saw there was food I got pretty excited. I eventually discovered there’s a rather infamous blueberry pie hidden in the darkness. A kind of symbol of hope… delicious, delicious hope.
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 6-8.
What you will need: A 9-inch loose base sandwich tin, a large baking tray, a sieve, a wooden spoon or hand mixer, a rolling pin and two large mixing bowls.
For the Pastry:
350g / 2⅓Cups Plain Flour
1 Teaspoon Salt
2 Tablespoons Light Brown Sugar
225g / 1 Cup Unsalted Butter (Chilled)
60ml / ¼ Cup Cold Water
For the Filling:
100g / ½ Cup Butter (Room Temperature)
100g /⅔Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar
100g / 1 Cup Ground Almonds
4 Teaspoons Cornflour/Cornstarch
1 Large Egg (Room Temperature)
1 Large Egg Yolk (Room Temperature)
1½ Teaspoons Pure Almond Extract
½ Teaspoon Lemon Zest
3 Tablespoons Blueberry Preserve
200g / 2 Cups Fresh Blueberries
Making the Shortcrust Pastry:
In a large mixing bowl, sieve the flour, salt and sugar. Next add the butter. Rub the butter into the dry ingredients with your finger tips until it resembles breadcrumbs.
Add the water a tablespoon at a time, mixing in between until the dough comes together. Once the dough forms into a ball, wrap it in cling film/saran wrap and place in the fridge to chill for about an hour.
Sieve some icing/confectioners sugar onto a clean, dry surface and roll the dough out until it’s about a quarter of an inch thick. Lift the pastry into the sandwich tin and pat it in to fill the tin evenly.
Trim off any excess pastry then put the tin in the fridge to chill for 30 minutes. Once chilled, preheat the oven to 220C/420F with a large baking tray inside.
Put the pie in the oven on top of the heated baking tray to blind-bake the crust. You may want to use some baking beans to help keep the pastry for shrinking while it cooks.
Cook the pastry for about 10-15 minutes until the edges appear slightly darker and are firm. Once baked, take out the pie and leave it to cool completely before adding any filling.
Making the Blueberry Pie:
In a large bowl, sieve in the sugar, almonds and cornstarch. Next add the butter, egg, yolk, lemon zest and almond extract. Mix well until thoroughly combined into a kind of thick batter. Leave the mixture in the fridge to chill for about an hour.
With your pastry cooled, spoon in the blueberry preserve and use the back of the spoon to smooth it out over the base to create a thin layer of jam.
Preheat the oven to 190C/375F. Once the almond mixture is chilled, pour it into the pastry and smooth it out until it’s even. Take your blueberries and pop them into the almond filling until the entire surface of the pie is covered.
Put the pie in the oven for 20-30 minutes. When the pie is firm, golden brown and an inserted skewer comes out clean – it’s ready! Take it out of the oven and leave to cool completely before serving.

Firstly, a huge thank you to Almost Human Games who replied to my email inquiring about Grimrock cuisine so promptly, and to Ben R for the beautiful comparison screenshots. It’s taken me about an hour to write this post, and in that time I’ve managed to eat about half the pie to myself. In making the pie, I didn’t want to overcook the frangipane filling, I wanted it to mix with the blueberries to create a creamy blueberry filling and it is… outstanding. I must have a seemingly bottomless pit for a stomach just like Mork, or even Grimrock it’s self.
You can download Legend of Grimrock from GOG, Steam and Grimrock.net.
Like this? You might also enjoy the Fable II – Amazing Apple Pie.

Legend of Grimrock – Blueberry Pie

Difficulty - 3.5 Hearts

Last weekend my significant other came to bed around 4AM, so I naturally asked where he’d been. Many suspicious girlfriends would think of the obvious; another woman or a secret shame, like eating flowers in the bathroom, but I knew better.

It turned out he’d discovered this amazing game called Legend of Grimrock; a seriously awesome old school dungeon crawler as a stunning modern incarnation. I fell in love with the game instantly; it was so mysterious and beautifully designed, and when I saw there was food I got pretty excited. I eventually discovered there’s a rather infamous blueberry pie hidden in the darkness. A kind of symbol of hope… delicious, delicious hope.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Minecraft – Mushroom Stew

Is it a stew? Is it a soup? Not even Notch seems to be sure. What we do know is that mushrooms are awesome. Why, you ask? Because mushrooms are the very foundation of the gaming industry. Without the iconic ‘1-UP’, perhaps gaming wouldn’t have become as popular as it is today. It’s a sobering thought, but from Mario to Minecraft, mushrooms have appeared in innumerable titles across the years. I’m also a personal fan of the fungi, as a vegetarian they feature a lot in my diet. They’re incredibly delicious, but mushroom soup is probably one of the most foul things you can ever taste, especially when it comes from a can. So change your mind, and follow in the footsteps of gaming heroes by enjoying some real, fresh mushroom stew. (No Mooshrooms were harmed in the making of this recipe).
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 4.
What you will need: A large and deep frying pan/skillet, kitchen towel and a small pot.
For the Croutons:
Olive Oil
Salt
4 Slices White Bread
For the Mushroom Stew:
Olive Oil
Truffle Oil (Optional)
Salt & Pepper
300g / 4 Cups Mushrooms (Chopped)
Portabello
Pink Oyster
Yellow Oyster
Shimeji
1 Tablespoon Butter
1 Small White Onion (Chopped)
1 Clove Garlic
500ml Vegetable Stock (Or use 250ml Vegetable and 250ml Mooshroom/Beef stock)
1 Tablespoon Fresh Thyme (Chopped)
1 Tablespoon Fresh Parsley (Chopped)
110ml / ½ Cup Single Cream
Making the Croutons:
Using a sharp knife, cut out the shape of the pixelated mushroom. You can use this image as a template. Cut out some squares too and set aside.
Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil and a dash of truffle oil in a large frying pan. Add a little salt once heated, then carefully lay the bread shapes into the pan.
Once they are golden on one side, flip them over. Remove the croutons from the pan when crisp and lay them on some absorbent kitchen towel to drain any excess oil. Set aside for garnishing later.
Making the Mushroom Stew:
Heat the olive oil in a deep frying pan on a medium high heat. Once hot add the mushrooms and fry for one minute.
Next, add the butter, onion and garlic and stir. Season with a little salt and pepper, drop in the thyme and allow to cook.
Once the moisture in the pan has reduced and is almost gone, add the stock. Bring it to the boil, then allow the soup to simmer for about 5 minutes.
Once simmered, pour the soup into a bowl and blend for a few minutes. You can blend it to be very smooth, or leave it a little chunky – whichever you prefer. Once blended, pour the soup into a clean pot and warm through.
Add the cream and some parsley and stir well. Serve the soup up, and garnish with the croutons, some thyme, parsley and a drizzle of truffle oil.

I was really pleased with how this turned out, and by some stroke of fate I managed to pick mushrooms at random in the store that just so happened to be perfect for soups! There’s a great depth of flavour that’s light and warming, and the croutons add a delightful contrast in texture and taste. I will make a warning though, this stew/soup certainly wont be for everybody. I think you’d probably have to love mushrooms to like this. And I mean really love mushrooms. You’d have to be, like, a spore away from being one yourself – or maybe just a fun guy or gal (that’s right, I went there). For those of you that do like it, however, just make sure not to gobble the bowl while you’re at it.
Like this? You might also enjoy the Minecraft - Cake.

Minecraft – Mushroom Stew

Difficulty: 2 Hearts

Is it a stew? Is it a soup? Not even Notch seems to be sure. What we do know is that mushrooms are awesome. Why, you ask? Because mushrooms are the very foundation of the gaming industry. Without the iconic ‘1-UP’, perhaps gaming wouldn’t have become as popular as it is today. It’s a sobering thought, but from Mario to Minecraft, mushrooms have appeared in innumerable titles across the years. I’m also a personal fan of the fungi, as a vegetarian they feature a lot in my diet. They’re incredibly delicious, but mushroom soup is probably one of the most foul things you can ever taste, especially when it comes from a can. So change your mind, and follow in the footsteps of gaming heroes by enjoying some real, fresh mushroom stew. (No Mooshrooms were harmed in the making of this recipe).

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

April Fools’ Request: Castlevania - Wall Turkey

I was touched by all your emails wishing me well since last week – I’m happy to report that I’m over my cold! I think it has something to do with the love and sunshine you sent my way in all those positive vibes, so I’ve decided to return the favor by giving you a recipe for a dish many of you have been requesting for quite some time: That’s right, here’s how to prepare a faithful recreation of the prize turkey Simon Belmont unearths from many a castle wall. I know the season doesn’t quite call for a savoury feast, but you can squirrel this one way until the holidays at least.
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]
This recipe feeds 3.
What you will need: Aluminum foil, one gutting knife, two sticks butter, three cups salt, a turkey baster, cinnamon-scented pine cones. No garlic. At least one turkey. Several bricks. 
Making the Wall Hole:
First thing’s first: This recipe is not for anyone faint of heart or weak of stomach. To really do this dish right, you will need to create a hole in your wall large enough to fit one of your healthier sized fowls. I enlisted my neighbor Mr. Crickens with the wobbly ankles to help with this part, and he used a standard sledgehammer you can find at any hardware store. A couple of glasses of lemonade later, viola! I had a gaping crevice where I once had wall. Perfect.Now comes the easiest part of this dish, installing a tandoori oven directly into your wall, which is simple for any craftsman to do. Mr. Crickens and I lucked out with the third nice man we phoned, and he even offered to stick around to relay bricks on the wall for that walled-in look that Simon loves so much for his poultry dishes. Before you make that hole, though, let me let you in on a little secret: You should select a section of wall that’s adjacent to your apartment or home’s radiator. This will assure that the dish doesn’t cool and it also is a poor man’s emulation of how Dracula likes to store his food: Slow-roasting for 400 years deep inside the castle walls.
We don’t have that long, so let’s start on the tough part: cooking the turkey. Ready?
Preparing the Wall Turkey:

Bring home a fresh bird from the market and wash it thoroughly in the sink with water. You may use dish soap or bleach if the bird has cursed spots or curses. 


Preheat your oven to 215C/400F. 


Crouch in front of the wall for three hours. Summon your strength.


Grease a pan and gingerly butter the bird as you would an infant’s neck with baby powder. Paprika is an acceptable addition, but use your own taste as judgment. Do make sure you cake the bird in salt, though, to emulate the taste the game’s turkey has – it’s been abandoned by the mermen who live downstairs, and they track saltwater everywhere!


Return to that spot on the wall and crouch for precisely 16 minutes. This time, make sure you’re holding a red crystal ball.


By now the oven should be preheated. Carefully shove the bird into the oven for six to eight hours, depending on the altitude of your location.


Six to eight hours later, retrieve that turkey from the oven and carefully shove it into the wall.  


Now you’re ready to go! Purists will enjoy this tip my neighbor with the wobbly ankles and I cooked up together… concoct a whip made of spices that dissolves on impact to really blast the bird with flavor. I used an old horsewhip that I found laying around in my carport. Mm!
Update: This Gourmet Gaming April Fool’s post was written by Dr. David Wolinsky, check out his Tumblr or follow him on Twitter.

April Fools’ Request: Castlevania - Wall Turkey

Gourmet Gaming Request: Castlevania - Wall Turkey

I was touched by all your emails wishing me well since last week – I’m happy to report that I’m over my cold! I think it has something to do with the love and sunshine you sent my way in all those positive vibes, so I’ve decided to return the favor by giving you a recipe for a dish many of you have been requesting for quite some time: That’s right, here’s how to prepare a faithful recreation of the prize turkey Simon Belmont unearths from many a castle wall. I know the season doesn’t quite call for a savoury feast, but you can squirrel this one way until the holidays at least.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep – Spark Lemon

After what has seemed like an eternal winter (I’ve worn some kind of coat every day for over a year now) the sun has made it’s way back North to Edinburgh. This unseasonable warmth has been glorious; barbecues in the park, lunch on Calton Hill and far too much exposed white flesh. Of course, I’m currently missing out on what is probably going to be our only week of sun for the year because I have a horrible cold. I thought I was going to have to miss this weeks post but then I realised I could make something that would be both medicinal and gaming related – as the two seem to go hand-in-hand for me anyway. I’d been holding back attempting this amazing looking treat for a suitable time to post, but now seems as good a time as any. For anyone local enjoying the weather, or someone like me with a sore throat, this Kingdom Hearts Spark Lemon sundae is perfect.
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 4.
What you will need: Greaseproof paper/baking parchment, a rolling pin, a knife, a zester or fine grater, 2 bowls, and 2 piping bags.
Ingredients:
5 Large Unwaxed Lemons
450g / 3 Cups Vanilla Ice-cream
2 Tablespoons Lemon Curd
1 Tablespoon Lemon Zest
25g / 1 Cup Meringue (Crushed)
75g / ½ Cup Lemon Sorbet
To Garnish:
Green/Blue Royal Icing
1 Slice of Lemon
2 Tablespoons Lemon Curd
Sprigs of Mint
Preparing the Spark Lemon:
To make the ‘spark’ garnishes, roll out some coloured royal icing and trim into the desired shapes. You’ll need two lightning bolts per Spark Lemon. Leave the icing shapes out to air dry and become hard.
Take a large, decent sized lemon and cut the top off it. This will become your ‘bowl’ for the ice-cream. Hollow out the centre then pop it in the freezer to chill.
Meanwhile, allow the vanilla ice-cream to soften a little. Take half the vanilla ice-cream (225g / 1 ½ Cups) in one mixing bowl, and the other half in another.
Add the lemon curd and the lemon zest to one half of the vanilla ice-cream, mix thoroughly then return the ice-cream to the freezer to chill.
To the other half of vanilla ice-cream, add the crushed meringue and return it to the freezer to chill too.
Once the lemon is nice and cold, and your ice-creams are chilled, you’re ready to make the Spark Lemon.
Making the Spark Lemon:
Take the lemon out of the freezer. Put two tablespoons of lemon sorbet in the base.
Next, spoon in the vanilla meringue ice-cream and fill it up until it’s level with the top of the lemon. Return the lemon to the freezer until the ice-creams have chilled.
Once chilled, take a piping bag and fill it with the vanilla and lemon curd ice-cream. Starting in the centre of the lemon, pipe around and up to create a swirl of vanilla and lemon curd ice-cream on top.
Use a piping bag to create a swirl of lemon curd around the ice-cream, then garnish with a sprig of mint, slice of lemon and the icing ‘sparks’, and enjoy!

"A lemon ice cream whose sour power will have you wincing in joy", that’s a tough mark to hit! But I did it! There’s a delightful contrast here between smooth and creamy vanilla, sweet lemon curd and tart sorbet - a treat with a serious zing. And you know, my throat is feeling much better already. Use any left over lemon and mint to make a delicious and refreshing lemonade!
Like this? You might also enjoy the Kingdom Hearts II – Sea Salt Ice-Cream.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep – Spark Lemon

Difficulty - 2.5 Hearts

After what has seemed like an eternal winter (I’ve worn some kind of coat every day for over a year now) the sun has made it’s way back North to Edinburgh. This unseasonable warmth has been glorious; barbecues in the park, lunch on Calton Hill and far too much exposed white flesh. Of course, I’m currently missing out on what is probably going to be our only week of sun for the year because I have a horrible cold. I thought I was going to have to miss this weeks post but then I realised I could make something that would be both medicinal and gaming related – as the two seem to go hand-in-hand for me anyway. I’d been holding back attempting this amazing looking treat for a suitable time to post, but now seems as good a time as any. For anyone local enjoying the weather, or someone like me with a sore throat, this Kingdom Hearts Spark Lemon sundae is perfect.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Silent Hill – Butter Cake

I’m pretty excited about this week’s Gourmet Gaming because I happen to be a huge Silent Hill fan. When I was about 10 I was given a ‘cracked’ import version of the game from Thailand as a holiday present from one of my mom’s friends.
The entire game was in black in white.
That’s what you get for buying duff versions of games, kids. Silent Hill was, needless to say, shelved after a few nightmares. I then returned several years later and managed to complete Silent Hill 2, which led to my great obsession with the series. Butter Cake appears to be one of only a few foods available in Silent Hill. Is it perhaps the source of all evil? There’s only one way to find out…
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

What you will need: An 8-inch spring-form cake tin, a sieve, a large mixing bowl and greaseproof paper/baking parchment.
This recipe serves 10-12.
Ingredients:
200g / 1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)
300g / 1½ Cups Light Brown Caster/Superfine Sugar
4 Large Eggs (Room Temperature)
380g / 3 Cups Plain Flour
2 Teaspoon Baking Powder
½ Teaspoon Salt
240ml / 1 Cup Milk
2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
To Garnish:
1 Tablespoon Butter
2 Tablespoons Sugar
Making the Butter Cake:
Preheat the oven to 165C/325F. Lightly grease and line the cake tin. Dust the greased tin with a sprinkling of flour then set aside for later.
In a large mixing bowl add the butter and sugar. Beat for about 5 minutes, until it’s pale and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and mix until well combined. In a separate bowl, sieve in the flour, baking powder and salt.
Alternate adding the milk and the flour a little at a time into the cake mixture. First add some flour, mix, then add some milk, mix again and continue until all the milk and flour has been added, ending with adding flour. This technique is important to make sure the cake has the right texture.
Finally, add the vanilla extract and stir well once again. Pour the cake mixture into the prepared tin and place in the middle of the preheated oven for 60-70 minutes.
Once firm and golden, remove the cake from the oven and leave to cool.
Preparing the Garnish:
Add the butter and sugar to a small saucepan and allow to melt. Don’t let it boil!
Once warmed through, and with the cake fresh from the oven, brush the butter over the top of the cake and leave to cool completely before removing from the tin and serving.

Definitely the source of all evil. Including heart attacks and childhood diabetes. If this is what Pyramid Head has been eating all this time, I’m not sure how he’s so buff. Maybe Silent Hill is just an illusion caused by a build up of Butter Cake on the brain. That seems more reasonable than most of the theories floating around some forums. The Butter Cake is an unusual dense sweetness that I’d serve with a dusting of icing sugar, cream, ice-cream or fruits. Just don’t eat too much or you’ll never be able to escape!
Like this? You might also enjoy the Minecraft - Cake.

Silent Hill – Butter Cake

Difficulty - 2 Hearts

I’m pretty excited about this week’s Gourmet Gaming because I happen to be a huge Silent Hill fan. When I was about 10 I was given a ‘cracked’ import version of the game from Thailand as a holiday present from one of my mom’s friends.

The entire game was in black in white.

That’s what you get for buying duff versions of games, kids. Silent Hill was, needless to say, shelved after a few nightmares. I then returned several years later and managed to complete Silent Hill 2, which led to my great obsession with the series. Butter Cake appears to be one of only a few foods available in Silent Hill. Is it perhaps the source of all evil? There’s only one way to find out…

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More

Request: Saints Row – Lil’ Gyro

Now, I’ve never played Saints Row. It’s always been lauded to me as the “layman’s” Grand Theft Auto. Sometimes I imagine all the people who complain about the GTA series are actually confusing it with Saints Row, as I’m surprised Saints Row doesn’t draw as much controversy. Maybe people don’t want to mess with a game where you can beat people to death with giant sex toys. It would probably seriously destroy a lot of peoples deepest and darkest desires if Saints Row was removed from the shelves. Either way, for one reason or another, Saints Row is incredibly popular and I’ve heard some awesome things about the third instalment. Since I don’t live in America and Greek food isn’t so popular here, I had no idea what a Gyro was when requests for it started to appear, even with my impressive American-internet food knowledge. Oh, I have spent many a hour dribbling over MoonPies and peanut butter Oreos. I was, however, aware of them in their popular ‘British’ form of doner kebab and my preferred Middle Eastern version; the shawarma. With a little research and taking inspiration from what I’ve eaten that’s similar, I’ve created a recipe for the Lil’ Gyro.
Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!
[[MORE]]

This recipe serves 4-6.
What you will need: A griddle pan and tin/aluminium foil.
Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
½ Teaspoon:
Cardamom Pods (Crushed)
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Salt and Pepper
300g / 10oz Lamb (Diced or Shredded)
1 Medium White Onion (Chopped)
1 Medium Green Bell Pepper (Chopped)
100g / 1 Cup Red Cabbage (Chopped)
4-6 Pita Breads
To Garnish:
Tomatoes
Lettuce
Tzatziki
Cucumber
Making the Lil’ Gyro:
Place the lamb into a bowl. Add the olive oil, cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg and a pinch of salt and pepper. Mix well and leave to marinate for about 20 minutes.
Heat the griddle pan on a medium-high heat. Once hot, toss the prepared onion, green bell pepper and red cabbage in a little bit of olive oil before adding to the pan.
Cook the vegetables until they’re soft, then remove from them from the pan and set aside for later.
While the pan is still warm, add the lamb and cook until tender. Remove the lamb and place it in a bowl while you warm the pita.
In a preheated oven, place the pita bread until it’s soft and warm. You have to work while the bread is hot, so make sure all your ingredients are near by.
If it helps, make some small vertical slices on the underside of the pita to help you roll it up. Fill it with the salad, tomatoes, lamb, vegetables and finally finish it off with some tzatziki and slices of cucumber. Roll up the pita, wrap it in tin/aluminium foil and enjoy!

For any vegetarians, like me, you can replace the lamb with aubergine and grill it up; super delicious! You could also add some red chillies to increase the spice. This is probably nothing like any Gyro you can get in America and I’m not sorry. Because it’s better. That’s right. Better. The Lil’ Gyro is surprisingly large; a fantastic medley of fresh flavours and spiced, warming lamb. This is one meat you can’t beat. I’m so sorry.
Like this? You might also enjoy the Team Fortress 2 - Edible Sandvich Device.

Request: Saints Row – Lil’ Gyro

Difficulty - 1.5 Hearts

Now, I’ve never played Saints Row. It’s always been lauded to me as the “layman’s” Grand Theft Auto. Sometimes I imagine all the people who complain about the GTA series are actually confusing it with Saints Row, as I’m surprised Saints Row doesn’t draw as much controversy. Maybe people don’t want to mess with a game where you can beat people to death with giant sex toys. It would probably seriously destroy a lot of peoples deepest and darkest desires if Saints Row was removed from the shelves. Either way, for one reason or another, Saints Row is incredibly popular and I’ve heard some awesome things about the third instalment. Since I don’t live in America and Greek food isn’t so popular here, I had no idea what a Gyro was when requests for it started to appear, even with my impressive American-internet food knowledge. Oh, I have spent many a hour dribbling over MoonPies and peanut butter Oreos. I was, however, aware of them in their popular ‘British’ form of doner kebab and my preferred Middle Eastern version; the shawarma. With a little research and taking inspiration from what I’ve eaten that’s similar, I’ve created a recipe for the Lil’ Gyro.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!

Read More